The United Muslimahs

Zucchini Lasagna (Lasagne) - Low Carb

2011-09-07T03:37:00.000-07:00

This look soooo delicious!!!! I took from Between You and Me @http://www.facebook.com/pages/Between-You-and-Me/178815045501467

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║Zucchini Lasagna (Lasagne)
- Low Carb ♫
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Ingredients :

* 2 1/2 cups zucchini, sliced 1/4 inch thick (about 2 medium)
* 1/2 lb lean ground beef (I use 1 lb.)
* 1/4 cup onion, chopped
* 2 small tomatoes, cut up
* 1 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
* 1 garlic clove, minced
* 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
* 1/2 teaspoon dried basil
* 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme
* 1/4 cup water
* 1/8 teaspoon pepper
* 1 egg
* 3/4 cup low fat cottage cheese (or low fat or fat free ricotta)
* 1/2 cup mozzarella cheese, shredded (I use 8 oz. divided)
* 1 teaspoon flour

Directions:

1 . Cook zucchini until tender, drain and set aside. Fry meat and onions until meat is brown and onions are tender; drain fat. Add next 8 ingredients and bring to a boil.

2. Reduce heat; simmer, uncovered 10 minutes or until reduced to 2 cups.

3. In a small bowl slightly beat egg.

4. Add cottage cheese, half of shredded cheese and flour.

5. In (1 1/2-qt.) baking-roasting pan arrange half of the meat mixture. Top with half of the zucchini and all the cottage cheese mixture. Top with remaining meat and zucchini.

6. Bake uncovered at 375 degrees F for 30 minutes.

7. Sprinkle with remaining cheese. Bake 10 minutes longer.

8. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.

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(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Bon Appeti ! ✿◕‿◕✿ ✌!!!.

Islamic Expressions

2011-09-07T02:41:00.000-07:00

Dictionary

Asalamu Alaikum
Please feel free to share this page on any website. We encourage the spreading of knowledge bi’idhnillahi wa ta’ala. Barak Allahu Feekum
Every Muslim should remember these essential expressions.
Note: Spellings may vary when translated to English
These expressions are mostly singular. For example to say ‘Jazak(i) Allahu Khair” to more than one person you would ‘Jazakum Allahu Khairan’ and to say ‘Barak Allahu feek(i)” to more than one person is “Barak Allahu Feekum”
e.g.
Masculine: Jazak Allahu Khair
Feminine: Jazaki Allahu Khair
Plural: Jazakum Allahu Khair
It is fine to speak in the masculine tense when speaking to women formally.
Say/When/Translation
Assalamu ‘Alaikum
when you meet a muslim
Translation: Peace be upon you
Wa’alaikum Assalam
a Muslim greets you
Translation: And peace be upon you
Assalamu ‘alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
formal and great greeting to a Muslim
Translation: May the peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you
Wa’alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
a Muslim greets you
Translation: And peace and mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you
Hiyyak Allah
When greeting someone after Salaams
Translation: May Allah greet you (lit. May Allah preserve your life)
Bismillah arRahman arRahim
before making a beginning
Translation: In the name of Allah, most Gracious most Merciful
Jazak Allah Khairan
for expression of thanks
Translation: May Allah reward you with blessings
(Reply: Wa iyak(i), wa iyakum; Trans. And you)
BarakAllahu feekum or Allah baraka feek(i)
responding to someone’s thanks/ a way of expressing thanks
Translation: May Allah bless you
(Reply: Wa feek(i), Wa feekum; Trans.: And you)
Fi Amanillah
by way of saying good-bye
Translation: May Allah protect you
Subhanallah
for praising something
Translation: Glory be to Allah
Insha Allah
for expressing a desire to do something
Translation: If Allah wills/Through Allah’s will
Astaghfirullah
Repenting for sins before Allah
I beg Allah for forgiveness
Masha Allah
for expressing appreciation of something good
Translation: As Allah has willed/Praise be to Allah
Alhamdulillah
for showing gratitude to Allah after success or even after completing anything
Translation: Thanks be to Allah
Ameen
the end of a Dua or prayer
Translation: May it be so
Sallahu ‘alayhi wa salaam
whenever say the name of Prophet Muhammad
Translation: Peace be upon him (S.A.W.)
‘Alayhi salaam
whenever say the name of a prophet
Translation: Peace be upon him (A.S.)
Radi Allah ‘Anhu
whenever say name of male companion of the Prophet (Sahabi)
Translation: May Allah be pleased with him (R.A.)
Radi Allah ‘Anha
whenever say name of female companion of the Prophet
Translation: May Allah be pleased with her (R.A.)
Radi Allah ‘Anhum
Plural form of saying companions of the Prophet
Translation: May Allah be pleased with them (R.A.)
Innaa lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raaji’oon
this is uttered as an expression upon hearing the news of some loss or some one’s death
Translation: To Allah we belong and to Him is our return
aathama allahu ajrakom
uttered to family of deceased
Translation: may Allah make your ajer (reward) great
Shakar Allahu Sa’yikum
uttered to people who attend aaza – when friends go to send condolences upon death of a person
Translation: May Allah accept that your effort
La hawla wala quwata illah billah
during the time of troubles
Translation: There is no strength nor power except Allah
_________________
A few more:
Tawakkal-tu-’ala-Allah- I have put my trust in Allah-rely on Allah solving a problem
Tawkkalna-’ala-Allah – we have put our trust in Allah – waiting for a problem to be solved
Rahimahullah – Allah have Mercy on him – you see someone in distress
Na’uzhu-bi-Allah - we seek refuge in Allah – showing your dislike
Fi sabeel illah – in/for Allah’s cause/way – you give charity/help people
Ittaqillah-fear Allah- you see someone doing a bad deed
Hayyak Allah - Allah maintain your life – you greet someone
Hasbi Allah – Allah will suffice me – you are in a difficult situation
Azhak Allah sinnaka - May Allah keep you cheerful – you seek another Muslim with cheerful countenance
____________________
A
AL-HAMDU LILLAHI RABBIL ‘ALAMIN
This is a verse from the Qur’an that Muslims recite and say many times per day. Other than being recited daily during prayers, a Muslim reads this expression in every activity of his daily life. The meaning of it is: “Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds.”
A Muslim invokes the praises of Allah before he does his daily work; and when he finishes, he thanks Allah for His favors. A Muslim is grateful to Allah for all His blessings. It is a statement of thanks, appreciation, and gratitude from the creature to his Creator.
ALLAHU AKBAR
This statement is said by Muslims numerous times. During the call for prayer, during prayer, when they are happy, and wish to express their approval of what they hear, when they slaughter an animal, and when they want to praise a speaker, Muslims do say this expression of Allahu Akbar. Actually it is most said expression in the world. It’s meaning: “Allah is the Greatest.” Muslims praise Allah in every aspect of life; and as such they say Allahu Akbar.
ASSALAMU ALAIKUM
This is an expression Muslims say whenever they meet one another. It is a statement of greeting with peace. The meaning of it is: “Peace be upon you.”
Muslims try to establish peace on earth even through the friendly relation of greeting and meeting one another.
The other forms are: “Assalamu ‘Alalikum Wa Rahmatullah,” which means:”May the peace and the Mercy of Allah be upon you,” and “Assalamu Alalikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,” which means:”May the peace, the mercy, and the blessings of Allah be upon you.”
ASTAGHFIRULLAH
This is an expression used by a Muslim when he wants to ask Allah forgiveness. The meaning of it is: “I ask Allah forgiveness.” A Muslim says this phrase many times, even when he is talking to another person. When a Muslim abstains from doing wrong, or even when he wants to prove that he is innocent of an incident he uses this expression. After every Salah (payer), a Muslim says this statement three times.
A’UDHU BILLAHI MINASHAYTAN IRAJEEM
This is an expression and a statement that Muslims have to recite before reading to Qur’an, before speaking, before doing any work, before making a supplication, before taking ablution, before entering the wash room, and before doing many other daily activities. The meaning of this phrase is: “I seek refuge from Allah from the outcast Satan.” Allah is the Arabic name of God.
Satan is the source of evil and he always tries to misguide and mislead people. The Qur’an states that Satan is not an angel but a member of the Jinn, which are spiritual beings created by Allah. So the belief that Satan is a fallen angel is rejected in Islam.
B
BARAKALLAH
This is an expression, which means: “May the blessings of Allah (be upon you).” When a Muslim wants to thank to another person, he uses different statements to express his thanks, appreciation, and gratitude. One of them is to say “Baraka Allah.”
BISMILLAHIR RAHMANIR RAHIM
This is a phrase from the Qur’an that is recited before reading the Qur’an. It is to be read immediately after one reads the phrase: “A’uzu Billahi Minashaitanir Rajim.”
This phrase is also recited before doing any daily activity. The meaning of it is: “In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.”
I
IN SHA’ ALLAH
When a person wishes to plan for the future, when he promises, when he makes resolutions, and when he makes a pledge, he makes them with permission and the will of Allah. For this reason, a Muslim uses the Qur’anic instructions by saying “In Sha ‘ Allah.” The meaning of this statement is: “If Allah wills.” Muslims are to strive hard and to put their trusts with Allah. They leave the results in the hands of Allah.
INNA LILLAHI WA INNA ILAHI RAJI’UN
When a Muslim is struck with a calamity, when he loses one of his loved ones, or when he has gone bankrupt, he should be patient and say this statement, the meaning of which is: “We are from Allah and to whom we are returning.”
Muslims believe that Allah is the One who gives and it is He takes away. He is testing us. Hence, a Muslim submits himself to Allah. He is grateful and thankful to Allah for whatever he gets. On the other hand, he is patient and says this expression in times of turmoil and calamity.
J
JAZAKALLAHU KHAYRAN
This is a statement of thanks and appreciation to be said to the person who does a favor. Instead of saying “thanks” (Shukran), the Islamic statement of thanks is to say this phrase. It’s meaning is: ” May Allah reward you for the good.”
It is understood that human beings can’t repay one another enough. Hence, it is better to request Almighty Allah to reward the person who did a favor and to give him the best.
K
KALAM
Talk or speech as in “kalamu Allah”; has also been used through the ages to mean logic or philosophy.
L
LA HAWLA WA LA QUWWATA ILLA BILLAH
The meaning of this expression is: ” There is no power and no strength save in Allah.” This expression is read by a Muslim when he is struck by a calamity, or is taken over by a situation beyond his control. A Muslim puts his trust in the hands of Allah, and submits himself to Allah.
LA ILAHA ILLALLAH
This expression is the most important one in Islam. It is the creed that every person has to say to be considered a Muslim. It is part of the first pillar of Islam. The meaning of which is: ” There is no lord worthy of worship except Allah.”
The second part of this first pillar is to say: “Mohammedan Rasul Allah,” which means:”Muhammad is the messenger of Allah.”
M
MA SHA’ ALLAH
This is an expression that Muslims say whenever they are excited and surprised. When they wish to express their happiness, they use such an expression. The meaning of “Ma sha’ Allah” is: “Whatever Allah wants.” or “Whatever Allah wants to give, He gives.” This means that whenever Allah gives something good to someone, blesses him, honors him, and opens the door of success in business, a Muslim says this statement of “Ma Sha’ Allah.”
It has become a tradition that whenever a person constructs a building, a house, or an office, he puts a plaque on the wall or the entrance with this statement. It is a sign of thanks and appreciation from the person to Almighty Allah for whatever he was blessed with.
MUHAMMADUN RASULULLAH
This statement is the second part of the first pillar of Islam. The meaning of this part is that Prophet Muhammad is the last and final prophet and messenger of Allah to mankind. He is the culmination, summation, purification of the previous prophets of Allah to humanity.
P
P.B.U.H.
These letters are abbreviations for the words Peace Be Upon Him which are the meaning of the Arabic expression ” ‘Alaihis Salam”, which is an expression that is said when the name of a prophet is mentioned.
This expression is widely used by English speaking Muslims. It is to be noticed here that this expression does not give the full meaning of “Salla Allahu ‘Alaihi Wa Sallam”. Therefore it is recommended that people do not use (p.b.u.h.) after the name of prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.); they should use “Salla Allahu ‘Alaihi Wa Sallam” instead, or they may use the abbreviated form of (s.a.w) in writing.
R
RADHIALLAHU ‘ANHU
This is an expression to be used by Muslims whenever a name of a companion of the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) is mentioned or used in writing. The meaning of this statement is: “May Allah be pleased with him.”
Muslims are taught to be respectful to the elderly and to those who contributed to the spread and success in Islam. They are to be grateful to the companions of the prophet (s.a.w.) for their sacrifices, their leadership, and their contributions. Muslims are advised to use this phrase when such names are mentioned or written.
S
SADAQALLAHUL ‘ADHEEM
This is a statement of truth that a Muslim says after reading any amount of verses from the Qur’an. The meaning of it is: “Allah says the truth.”
The Qur’an is the exact words of Allah in verbatim. When Allah speaks, He says the truth; and when the Qur’an is being recited, a Muslim is reciting the words of truth of Allah. Hence, he says: “Sadaqallahul ‘Azim.”
SALLALLAHU ‘ALAIHI WA SALLAM
When the name of Prophet Muhammad (saw) is mentioned or written, a Muslim is to respect him and invoke this statement of peace upon him. The meaning of it is: “May the blessings and the peace of Allah be upon him (Muhammad).
Another expression that is alternatively used is: “Alaihissalatu Wassalam.” This expression means: “On Him (Muhammad) are the blessings and the peace of Allah.”
Allah has ordered Muslims, in the Qur’an, to say such an expression. Muslims are informed that if they proclaim such a statement once, Allah will reward them ten times.
S.A.W. These letters are abbreviations for the words “Salla Allahu ‘Alaihi Wa Sallam”.
SUBHANAHU WA TA’ALA
This is an expression that Muslims use whenever the name of Allah is pronounced or written. The meaning of this expression is: “Allah is pure of having partners and He is exalted from having a son.”
Muslims believe that Allah is the only God, the Creator of the Universe. He does not have partners or children. Sometimes Muslims use other expressions when the name of Allah is written or pronounced. Some of which are: “‘Azza Wa Jall”: He is the Mighty and the Majestic; “Jalla Jalaluh”: He is the exalted Majestic.
S.W.T. These letters are abbreviations for the words of “Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala”.
W
WA ‘ALAIKUM ASSALAM
This is an expression that a Muslim is to say as an answer for the greeting. When a person greets another with a salutation of peace, the answer for the greeting is an answer of peace. The meaning of this statement is: “And upon you is the peace.” The other expressions are: ” Wa Alaikums Salam Wa Rahmatullah.” and “Wa ‘Alaikums Salam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh.”
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If there’s an Islamic phrase/ word that’s not included above, feel free to share with us down in the comments below inshallah!! The more knowledge you give, the more rewards! Also please include the translation, and when its commonly used. I’m human, so if you’ve found I made a mistake, feel free to correct me. If you have any questions on any of the terms, don’t be shy to ask inshallah!!
Jazakum Allahu Khair
fi aman Allah
w’salaam

from http://islamicink.wordpress.com/basic-islamic-phrases-terms/

Obeying one’s husband comes before obeying one’s parents and siblings

2011-09-07T01:57:00.000-07:00

Obeying one’s husband comes before obeying one’s parents and siblings

how important is a husband to his wife, are her sisters more important than husband, who should she listen to, how up on the importance ladder does husband comes. is husband more important than her own parents and sisters.

Praise be to Allaah.

The Qur’aan and Sunnah indicate that the husband has a confirmed right over his wife, and that she is commanded to obey him, treat him well and put obedience to him above obedience to her parents and brothers. Indeed, he is her paradise and her hell. For example, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”

[al-Nisa’ 4:34]

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a woman to fast when her husband is present except with his permission, or to allow anyone in his house without his permission.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899.

Al-Albaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, commenting on this hadeeth: Since it is obligatory for a woman to obey her husband with regard to his satisfying his desire, it is more appropriate that it be obligatory for her to obey him in that which is more important than that, namely raising their children, guiding the family, and other rights and duties.

From Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 282

Ibn Hibbaan narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 660.

Ibn Maajah (1853) narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Awfa said: When Mu’aadh came from Syria, he prostrated to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said, “What is this, O Mu'aadh?” He said, I went to Syria and saw them prostrating to their archbishops and patriarchs, and I wanted to do that for you. The Messenger of Allaah (S) said, “Do not do that. If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allaah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allaah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.”

Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.

Ahmad (19025) and al-Haakim narrated from al-Husayn ibn Muhsin that his paternal aunt came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) for something and he dealt with her need, then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.” He said: “How are you with him?” She said, “I do not neglect any of his rights except those I am unable to fulfil.” He said: “Look at how you are with him, for he is your paradise and your hell” – i.e., he is the cause of you entering Paradise if you fulfil his rights and the cause of your entering Hell if you fall short in that.

Al-Mundhiri classed the isnaad of this hadeeth as jayyid in al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb; it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, no. 1933.

If there is a conflict between obedience to one’s husband and obedience to one’s parents, then obedience to one’s husband takes priority. Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) said concerning a woman who has a husband and a sick mother: Obeying her husband is more obligatory upon her than (taking care of) her mother, unless he gives her permission. (Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat, 3/47).

In al-Insaaf (8/362) it says: She does not have to obey her parents with regard to leaving her husband or visiting etc., rather obedience to the husband takes priority.

There is a hadeeth concerning this issue which was narrated by al-Haakim from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: I asked the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “Who has the most right over a woman?” He said: “Her husband.” I said, “Who has the most right over a man?” He said, “His mother.”

But this is a weak (da’eef) hadeeth, which was classed as such by al-Albaani in Da’eef al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, 1212, and he criticized al-Mundhiri for classing it as hasan.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q

The United Muslimahs's Notes On Facebook - Last Update

2011-08-30T17:13:00.001-07:00

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http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=241848775841288

It is not permissible for a man to be away from his wife for more than four months
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242016349157864

Why is Polygamy allowed in Islam?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242018562490976

Sexual rights in Islam
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242034289156070

“They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them…”
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242035912489241

Is it allowed in Islam to say one prayers with Nail-color on ?.
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242355969123902

Advice to one who does not want to get married
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242358149123684

Her wali repeatedly refused suitors; can she arrange her own marriage?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242593129100186

Ruling on surgery that causes sterility
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242602142432618

Is it permissible to engage in coitus interruptus or to use a condom?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242603859099113

Using the birth control pill and the coil
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242605132432319

KNOW YOUR RIGHT SISTERS: Ruling on abortion, divorcing a pregnant woman and putting pressure on a wife to make her give up her rights
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242608789098620

Does she have the right to ask for divorce ...
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242615065764659

Rings and marriage in Islam
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242642015761964

What is the Islamic ruling concerning the removal of hair from between the eyebrows?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242739455752220

Nail Polish and Pray
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242802442412588

The things that break wudoo...
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242805172412315

Ruling on using eggs or sperm from someone other than the spouses in artificial insemination
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242957729063726

Starting solid foods during infancy
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242968355729330

What is botulism?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242972035728962

The Things that Nullify one’s Ablution
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242980052394827

Can she divorce a husband whom she does not love?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242983085727857

Divorcing a woman by talaaq when she is pregnant
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243067235719442

How should a man take back his wife after divorcing her?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243071462385686

Information about the Shi’ah - There are many groups among them; some are kaafirs and some are not kaafirs-
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243465122346320

What the Shi’ah do on ‘Ashoora’ is bid’ah (innovation) and misguidance
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243469502345882

She loves a man who is not a Sunni and wants to marry him
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243470812345751

She likes someone and he asked her to go out with him, what should she do?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243665502326282

Love and correspondence before marriage
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243672778992221

He fell in love with a girl then he repented. Can he be friends with her?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243681238991375

The United Muslimahs Quiz 1
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243712628988236

The United Muslimahs Quiz 2
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243714638988035
60 Quranic Ayat's To Help in Every Way of Life...
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243716965654469
'You' and 'I': The Art of Communication in Marital Life
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=245564248803074

The United Muslimahs Quiz 3
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=245568848802614

Is it permissible to curse those who commit sin?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=245861935439972

What is the ruling on Celebrating the night of the Isra’ and Mi’raaj, which is the twenty-seventh night of Rajab?.
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=245871095439056

Should she complain to the qaadi because her father is not letting her get married?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=245876678771831

Can we read Quran to the dead people?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=245880935438072

Marriage comes first!
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=245912705434895

The Cost of Delaying Marriage
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=245924358767063

Parents in Islam
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=246016828757816

Forced Marriage is not permissible in Islam.
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=246027492090083

Changing hair colour and “relaxing” the hair
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=246974005328765

There is nothing wrong with a menstruating woman entering the mosque to take something she needs and then come out
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=246987961994036

Reading Qur’aan during menses
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=246987635327402

He wants to make up the prayers for his wife when she has her period!
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=246995095326656

Rulings on menstruation
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=247012208658278

Guidelines on women working outside the home
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=247020015324164

Does a person who becomes Muslim have to change name?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=247027038656795

The United Muslimahs Quiz 4
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=247708601921972

Why should the wife obey her husband?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=247781101914722

If he married her on the condition that he will not marry another wife, then she has the right to leave him if he does it
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=247782241914608

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade mut’ah marriage (temporary marriage)
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=247950041897828

Mut’ah (temporary) marriage is considered to be zinaa (adultery or fornication)
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=247951585231007

Conditions of walee (guardian)
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=247953528564146

Ruling on one who kills another in self-defence and dies – does he have to pay blood-money or offer expiation?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248180758541423
AMAZING LESSON- A CARPENTER STORY!!!!
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248252388534260
The ruling on putting a ring/piercing in a woman’s nose is that it is permissible
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248296685196497

There is nothing wrong with piercing the ear
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248298141863018

Tongue piercing
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248299368529562

Detailed ruling on body piercing
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248300495196116

The reason why smoking is haraam
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248425955183570

Ruling on smoking
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248427081850124

Woman’s ‘awrah(part that can not be exposed) in front of other women and mahrams
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248430421849790

Suggested program for the Muslim during Ramadan
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248436198515879

It is permissible for a man to look at his wife’s ‘awrah(private parts) and vice-versa
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248694851823347

Sexual talk between spouses by phone
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248697411823091

What is the ruling on a man having intercourse with his pregnant wife?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248700448489454

Masturbation between husband and wife
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248728958486603

He has the habit of looking at nude pictures
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248731531819679

Dreams and dream interpretation
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248736541819178

It is not permissible to watch pornography at all, not even with one’s wife
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248740051818827

Ruling on reading stories with sexual content and looking at dirty pictures
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248743005151865

Ruling on reading erotic stories with one’s spouse
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248744635151702

Principles of Intimate Relations in Islam
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248786168480882

Etiquette of intimate relations
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=248975478461951

The United Muslimahs Quiz 5
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=250063998353099

Men getting Hoor (fair females) in Paradise
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=250650108294488

What will happen to a woman in Paradise if her husband is one of the people of the Fire?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=250655948293904

If a woman marries more than one husband, which one will she be with in Paradise?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=250657221627110

Multiple Wives in Paradise: What Is for Women?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=250658988293600

Misconception about the 15th night of sha`baan
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=251430714883094

What is Shabaan? Virtues,Fasting and 15th night
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=251432491549583

The Etiquettes Of Marriage And Wedding
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=251805344845631

Is it permissible to delay some or all of the mahr at the time of the marriage contract?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=252470344779131

How the Prophet Muhammadh (PBUH) Behaved in his Home!
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=252699808089518

Ruling on making fun of the HIJAB
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=252727454753420

Dreams
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=252736561419176

Sins: to hide or to make public?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=252740664752099

Being Kind to Oppressive Parents
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=252744028085096

IN DEFENSE OF NON-HIJABI SISTERS
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=254139831278849

Fasting Entire month of Shaban ?????
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=255400194486146

Ruling on the fast of a pregnant woman who is affected by fasting
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=268740046485494

Can he contact his (female) cousin to greet her by phone?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=269701886389310

It is not correct for a woman to observe i’tikaaf in her house
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=269914363034729

Ruling on i’tikaaf and the evidence for it being prescribed in Islam
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=269915493034616

What is it permissible for a man to do with his wife during the day in Ramadaan?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=270133276346171

The virtues of pregnancy
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=270135876345911

A fabricated hadeeth about the virtue of pregnancy, giving birth and breastfeeding
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=270138469678985

Ruling on kissing one’s wife in front of the children
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=270143513011814

Asad opened the refrigerator door and peered inside...
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=270263492999816

Anal intercourse with one's wife is a major sin
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=270458352980330

There is no connection between fasting and cutting one's nails or shaving one’s pubic hairs
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=270701229622709

Du’as for the sick (collection of posts)
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=272036606155838

Rulings and issues about praying on a chair
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=274101199282712

The difference between zakaah on wealth and zakaat al-fitr
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=274107135948785

Zakaat al-Fitr is food, not money, and it is to be given to needy Muslims only
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=274206889272143

To which madhahib do you adhere (Shafii,Hanbali,Hanafi,Maliki)? What should I say if I am asked about my madhhab?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=274273422598823

Giving sadaqah (charity) to non-Muslims
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=274552465904252

Can zakaah be used for da’wah purposes?
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=274553475904151

Zakaat al-fitr on behalf of a wife who has been given a revocable divorce (first or second talaaq)
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=274555525903946

The husband does not have to pay fitrah for his wife with whom he has not consummated the marriage
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=274556112570554

To which madhahib do you adhere (Shafii,Hanbali,Hanafi,Maliki)? What should I say if I am asked about my madhhab?

2011-08-30T16:25:00.000-07:00

Very often I am asked by some of our brothers who come to the Kingdom as foreign workers about what my madhhab (school of thought) is – am I a Hanbali or a Shaafa’i, etc.? In fact I am completely ignorant about this matter, and it is sufficient for me to be a Muslim; if I have a problem with regard to some religious matter, I ask the scholars. What is your opinion?

Praise be to Allaah.

It is sufficient for you to be a Muslim who follows the sharee’ah. With regard to Hanbali or Shaafa’i madhhabs, you do not have to restrict yourself to that. Those (four) scholars have a high status that is well known throughout this Ummah; their words were written down and followed by their companions and followers, and became madhhabs that were recognized and known, even though they were agreed on matters of belief and Tawheed. They were also close to one another on minor issues, but it so happened that one of them might be unaware of some evidence (daleel) or its correct interpretation, so he made ijtihaad and issued fatwaas based on his ijtihaad. They did not oblige others to adhere to what they said, but most of those followers adopted sectarian attitudes and restricted themselves to the views of those imaams even if they went against the daleel. They went to great length to interpret the texts in such a manner as to make them agree with what they thought. On this basis, we advise the “rank and file” to call themselves Muslims and to refer problematic issues to respectable scholars and to consult the works of scholars who are known for their sincere devotion to Islam and the Muslims. And Allaah knows best.

al-Lu’lu’ al-Makeen min Fataawaa Ibn Jibreen, p. 30

Eid Mubarak ♥

2011-08-30T16:13:00.000-07:00

كل عام وانتم بخير ♥ Joyeuses fêtes ♥ selamat hari raya aidil fitri mohon maaf za...hir batin ♥ Happy Eid and for All ♥ ♥ Счастливые Ид и Ид Мубарак для всех ♥ Bayramın Mübarek olsun

There is no connection between fasting and cutting one's nails or shaving one’s pubic hairs

2011-08-28T16:32:00.000-07:00

Is there any truth that one should not cut their nails or shave the pubic hairs while fasting?

Praise be to Allaah.

These actions are not things that are obligatory for the fasting person in particular, but they are not things that go against fasting either. Rather the fasting person refrains from eating, drinking and having intercourse, which are things that invalidate the fast. He should also keep away from sins and bad things, such as backbiting and spreading slander, which reduce the reward for fasting. But with regard to cutting the nails and shaving the pubic hair, these are matters that pertain to the fitrah (natural state of man), which the Lawgiver said should not be left for more than forty days. They have nothing to do with the soundness of one’s fast.

And Allaah knows best.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

The difference between zakaah on wealth and zakaat al-fitr

2011-08-28T16:28:00.000-07:00

The difference between zakaah on wealth and zakaat al-fitr

Is the zakaah that is enjoined on Muslims and is one of the five pillars something other than the zakaah of Ramadaan?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Yes, the zakaah that is one of the five pillars of Islam is something other than the zakaah that must be paid at the end of Ramadaan (zakaat al-fitr).

The former is zakaah on wealth which is only obligatory on certain kinds of wealth, viz.:

1- An’aam livestock (camels, cattle and sheep)

2- Gold and silver and, nowadays, paper currency

3- Trade goods

4- What is produced by the earth, which includes two things:

a. Crops and fruits. The scholars are unanimously agreed that it is obligatory to pay zakaah on four kinds: wheat, barley, dates and raisins; they differed with regard to other kinds.

b. Rikaaz (buried treasure), i.e., wealth of the kuffaar buried in the ground that is found by a Muslim.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) narrated in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (25/10) that Ibn al-Mundhir (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

The scholars are unanimously agreed that zakaah is obligatory on nine things: camels, cattle, sheep, gold, silver, wheat, barley, dates and raisins, if they reach the nisaab (minimum threshold) for each type at which zakaah becomes due. They differed with regard to other types of wealth.

Zakaah for each of these kinds of wealth is obligatory subject to certain conditions, and a specific amount of the wealth must be given as defined by sharee’ah.

See the questions on zakaah on this site for more information.

This zakaah (zakaah on wealth) is one of the five pillars of Islam. Whoever denies it is a kaafir and whoever withholds it is a rebellious evildoer; the Muslim ruler must take it from him by force. If he persists in withholding it and is protected by his tribe then he must be fought until he pays it.

Al-Bukhaari (8) and Muslim (12) narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Islam is built on five (pillars): bearing witness that there is no god except Allaah, establishing regular prayer, paying zakaah, fasting Ramadaan and going on Pilgrimage to the House.”

Al-Bukhaari (25) and Muslim (22) narrated from Ibn ‘Umar that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I have been enjoined to fight the people until they bear witness that there is no god except Allaah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allaah, and they establish regular prayer and pay zakaah. If they do that, then they have protected their blood and wealth from me except in cases where Islamic laws apply, and their reckoning will be with Allaah.

The Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) were unanimously agreed on fighting those who withheld zakaah. Al-Bukhaari (1400) and Muslim (20) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “When the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) passed away, and Abu Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with him) became caliph, and some of the Arabs disbelieved and apostatized, ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: ‘How could you fight the people, when the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “I have been enjoined to fight the people until they bear witness that there is no god except Allaah. Whoever says that has protected his blood and wealth from me except in cases where Islamic laws apply, and their reckoning will be with Allaah”?’ Then Abu Bakr said: ‘By Allaah, I will fight those who separate prayer and zakaah, for zakaah is what is due on wealth. By Allaah, if they withhold from me a small sheep that they used to give to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), I will fight them for withholding it.’ ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: ‘By Allaah, when I realized that Abu Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with him) was confident about this idea, then I knew that this was the truth.’”

With regard to the zakaah that is obligatory at the end of Ramadaan, this is Zakaat al-Fitr. The scholars are unanimously agreed that it is obligatory, except those who held odd views.

See Tarh al-Tathreeb, 4/46.

It is less important than the zakaah of wealth with regard to obligation and status. Zakaat al-Fitr is not one of the pillars of Islam, and the one who denies it is not a kaafir.

Zakaat al-Fitr was mentioned in many ahaadeeth, such as the following:

Al-Bukhaari (1503) and Muslim (984) narrated that Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined zakaat al-fitr, a saa’ of dates, or a saa’ of barley, for every Muslim, slave or free, male or female, young or old, and he enjoined that it be given before the people go out to the prayer.

Abu Dawood (1609) narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined zakaat al-fitr as a purification for those who fasted from idle or obscene talk, and so as to feed the poor. Whoever gives it before the prayer, it is accepted zakaah and whoever gives it after the prayer, it is ordinary charity. Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

See question no. 12459 for more details.

Islam Q&A

Zakaat al-Fitr is food, not money, and it is to be given to needy Muslims only

2011-08-28T16:27:00.000-07:00

What do you give for zakatul fitr? Is it money or grain? and what about if you don`t know any body to be given? Is it permissable to give it to the masjid or a kaafir homeless, or kaair in general?

Praise be to Allaah.

Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) made giving a saa’ of dates or a saa’ of barley as Zakaat al-Fitr an obligation for all Muslims, slave and free, male and female, young and old, and ordered that it should be given before the people went out to pray (Salaat al-Eid).” (Al-Bukhaari, 1503).

Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “We used to pay as Zakaat al-Fitr a saa’ of food or a saa’ of barley (which was their food at that time) or a saa’ or dates or a saa’ of aqit (dried yoghurt) or a saa’ of raisins.” (1506)

From this it is clear that Zakaat al-Fitr must be food, not money, so we must adhere to what has been recorded in the Sunnah. So give one saa’ of whatever is the staple food in your country, such as rice or wheat, for example, on behalf of yourself and each member of your household. (A saa’ is equivalent to approximately 3 kilograms). It is not permissible to give it to anyone except a needy Muslim. If you cannot find anyone in your own country, you can delegate someone else to give it on your behalf in another country. May Allaah help us and you to do the duties that He loves. And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Giving sadaqah (charity) to non-Muslims

2011-08-28T16:25:00.000-07:00

1) It is ok to give sadaqa to non-muslim especially in this country?

2) Someone (probably muslim) beg for specific amount of money. What Islam say to deal with such situation? Please also mention this situation when the begger is non_muslim?

3) Is the same ruling for the first two question would be applicable to begger who are on drugs/alcohol, etc? It may be possible they may use money for wrong doing.

Praise be to Allaah.

1 - It is permissible to give charity – other than the obligatory charity (zakaah etc.) – to poor non-Muslims, especially if they are relatives, on condition that they do not belong to people who are in a state of war against us and have not committed acts of aggression that would preclude our treating them kindly. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Allaah does not forbid you to deal justly and kindly with those who fought not against you on account of religion nor drove you out of your homes. Verily, Allaah loves those who deal with equity. It is only as regards those who fought against you on account of religion, and have driven you out of your homes, and helped to drive you out, that Allaah forbids you to befriend them. And whosoever will befriend them, then such are the Zaalimoon (wrongdoers those who disobey Allaah” [al-Mumtahinah 60:8-9]

Asmaa’ bint Abi Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “My mother came to me when she was still a mushrikah – at the time when there was a peace treaty between Quraysh and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) – accompanied by her father. I consulted the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), saying, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, my mother has come to me and she is asking for help. Should I uphold the ties of kinship with her?’ He said, ‘Yes, uphold the ties of kinship with her.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 2946).

It was narrated that a Jewish woman came begging to ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) and she gave her something. The Jewish woman said to ‘Aa’ishah, “May Allaah protect you from the punishment of the grave.” ‘Aa’ishah did not like that, and when she saw the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) she asked him about it and he said “No.” ‘Aa’ishah said: “Then later on, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘It has been revealed to me that you will be tried in your graves.’” (Musnad Ahmad, no. 24815).

These two ahaadeeth indicate that it is permissible to give charity to the kuffaar. But it is not permissible to give zakaah funds to the poor among the kuffaar, because zakaah can only be given to Muslims to spend on the poor and needy among them as mentioned in the aayah of zakaah.

Imaam al-Shaafa'i said: “There is nothing wrong with giving charity to a mushrik as a naafilah (supererogatory) action, but he has no right to charity from the obligatory (zakaah). Allaah praised people who, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘… they give food, inspite of their love for it (or for the love of Him), to the Miskeen (the poor), the orphan, and the captive’ [al-Insaan 76:8].” (Kitaab al-Umm, part 2).

Giving charity to poor Muslims is preferable and more befitting, because spending on them helps them to obey Allaah, and it helps them in both their worldly and spiritual affairs. This helps to strengthen the bonds among Muslims, especially nowadays when the poor among the Muslims far outnumber the rich. And Allaah is the One Whose help we seek.

2 – If the person who is asking for the money is Muslim and is definitely in need, then give him what you can in charity. The same applies even if he is not Muslim. But it is better for Muslims who are in need to refrain from begging in the streets. If they have no other choice, they should go to Islamic charity organizations which exist to channel charitable donations to the poor and needy. By the same token, those who want to give charity can also contact reliable charitable organizations so that their charity will reach those who deserve it.

3 – If the person who is asking for money –regardless of whether he is a Muslim or a kaafir – is asking for it in order to commit sin and buy something that is haraam, or he is going to use the money to help him to do something haraam, then it is not permissible to give that charity to him, because by doing so, one is helping him to commit that haraam action. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Help you one another in Al‑Birr and At‑Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression” [al-Maa’idah 5:2]

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Can zakaah be used for da’wah purposes?

2011-08-28T16:24:00.000-07:00

Is it permissible to use zakat money which has been collected by a Muslim organisation for dawah purposes in a non-Muslim country like Australia where most of the zakat goes overseas to needy Muslims while money is desperately needed for dawah activities in Australia?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Allaah has explained the categories on which zakaah may be spent in the verse in which He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“As-Sadaqaat (here it means Zakaah) are only for the Fuqaraa’ (poor), and Al‑Masaakeen (the poor) and those employed to collect (the funds); and to attract the hearts of those who have been inclined (towards Islam); and to free the captives; and for those in debt; and for Allaah’s Cause (i.e. for Mujaahidoon — those fighting in a holy battle), and for the wayfarer (a traveller who is cut off from everything); a duty imposed by Allaah. And Allaah is All-Knower, All-Wise”

[al-Tawbah 9:60]

It is not acceptable to spend zakaah funds on anything other than these eight categories.

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Mughni (2/280): It is not permissible to spend zakaah on anything other than what Allaah has mentioned here, such as building mosques, bridges and aqueducts, maintaining roads, shrouding the dead, providing hospitality to visitors and other acts of charity that Allaah did not mention here. End quote.

What is meant by “for Allaah’s Cause” is jihad for the sake of Allaah.

Some contemporary scholars are of the view that jihad for the sake of Allaah includes jihad of knowledge, establishing proof, explaining and calling people to Allaah, so they regarded it as permissible to spend zakaah on da’wah to call people to Allaah, on the basis that this comes under the heading of “for Allaah’s Cause”.

We have quoted the fatwa of Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem Aal al-Shaykh (may Allaah have mercy on him) and the statement of the Islamic Fiqh Council, please see the answer to question no. 121551.

Here we are referring to the fatwa of Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) which says that it is permissible to donate zakaah to da’wah efforts.

He was asked about donating zakaah to circles (halaqahs) for Qur'aan memorization, so that prizes may be given from zakaah to the students, as well as salaries for the teachers and drivers. He replied:

Because zakaah has been prescribed to meet the needs of the poor and weak, and it has also been prescribed to support charitable causes such as giving to mukaatibs (slaves who have contracts of manumission with their owners), mujaahideen, those who are cut off and those whose hearts are to be softened towards Islam, this indicates that it is prescribed for charitable causes which lead to good outcomes and will bring benefits, goodness and blessing to the Muslims. Our Shaykhs have issued fatwas stating that it may be spent on da’wah and calling people to Allaah, and the means of da’wah such as essays, tapes and salaries for full-time daa’iyahs. That also includes spending it on charitable schools for Qur’aan memorization, because of the good effect and outcomes that they have, and to encourage people to memorize and follow Qur’aan. I think it is permissible to give zakaah to these people if there are no other organizations who are doing that, so that these religious activities will not cease. End quote from the Shaykh’s website:

http://ibn-jebreen.com/ftawa.php?view=vmasal&subid=13108&parent=786

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

Zakaat al-fitr on behalf of a wife who has been given a revocable divorce (first or second talaaq)

2011-08-28T16:23:00.000-07:00

There is a woman whose husband has divorced her once. Does he have to pay zakaat al-fitr on her behalf?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

Zakaat al-fitr is required from a man on his own behalf and on behalf of those on whom he is obliged to spend, such as his wife, child and so on, because of the report narrated by al-Daaraqutni and al-Bayhaqi from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him), that the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Pay zakaat al-fitr on behalf of those whom you support.” But this is a da’eef (weak) hadeeth, which was classed as such by al-Daaraqutni, al-Bayhaqi, al-Nawawi, Ibn Hajar and others.

See: al-Majmoo’ (6/113) and Talkhees al-Habeer (2/771).

The scholars of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas said: Zakaah al-fitr must be paid on behalf of oneself and everyone on whom one is obliged to spend, including one's wife, because he is obliged to spend on her. End quote.

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah li’l-Ifta (9/367).

Secondly:

If a woman has been given a revocable divorce, then she comes under the same rulings as a wife; she is entitled to the same maintenance and accommodation, so long as her ‘iddah has not yet ended. Payment of zakaat al-fitr is connected to spending; so long as the husband is obliged to spend on the wife who has been given a revocable divorce, then he also has to pay zakaat al-fitr on her behalf.

Al-Nawawi said in al-Majmoo’ (6/74): Our companions said: He has to pay zakaat al-fitr on behalf of his revocably divorced wife just as he has to spend on her. End quote.

Ibn Yoosuf al-Mawaaq, who is one of the Maalikis, said in al-Taaj wa’l-Ikleel (3/265): If he divorces a wife with whom he has consummated the marriage, giving her a revocable divorce, then he is obliged to spend on her and give zakaat al-fitr on her behalf. End quote.

Some scholars are of the view that the husband does not have to give zakaat al-fitr on behalf of his wife, rather it a duty that she must fulfil herself. This is the view of Imam Abu Haneefah (may Allaah have mercy on him) and was favoured by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen. See the answer to question no. 99353.

The husband should do that which is on the safe side and discharge his duty by paying zakaat al-fitr on behalf of the wife to whom he has given a revocable divorce, especially as zakaat al-fitr is a small amount and it is not usually difficult for the husband to pay it.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

The husband does not have to pay fitrah for his wife with whom he has not consummated the marriage

2011-08-28T16:22:00.000-07:00

A man has done the marriage contract with a woman but he has not consummated the marriage with her. Does he have to pay zakaat al-fitr on her behalf?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

The scholars (may Allaah have mercy on them) differed as to whether a man has to pay zakaat al-fitr on behalf of those on whom he spends. There are two points of view:

1 – That he has to pay zakaat al-fitr on behalf of himself and those on whom he spends, such as his wife and son. This is the Hanbali point of view.

They quoted as evidence the report narrated by al-Daaraqutni and al-Bayhaqi from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Pay sadaqat al-fitr on behalf of those whom you spend on.” But it is a da’eef (weak) hadeeth which was classed as such by al-Daaraqutni, al-Bayhaqi, Ibn al-‘Arabi, al-Dhahabi, al-Nawawi, Ibn Hajar and others.

See: al-Majmoo’ (6/113) and Talkhees al-Habeer (2/771).

This view was favoured by the scholars of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas. They were asked: Does the husband have to pay zakaat al-fitr on behalf of a wife with whom he has a serious dispute, or not?

They replied: A man must pay zakaat al-fitr on behalf of himself and everyone on whom he is obliged to spend, which includes the wife, because he is obliged to spend on her. End quote.

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah li’l-Ifta (9/367).

This view was also favoured by Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) as it says in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (14/197).

2 – He does not have to pay zakaat al-fitr on behalf of anyone else. This is the view of the Hanafis.

They quoted as evidence the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined zakaat al-fitr, a saa’ of dates or a saa’ of barley, on slave and free, male and female, young and old, among the Muslims. Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1503) and Muslim (984).

This hadeeth indicates that it is obligatory upon everyone among the Muslims, and the basic principle is that the one on whom it is obligatory is each individual.

This view was favoured by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) in al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (6/154):

The correct view is that zakaat al-fitr is due from a man on his own behalf, and from his wife on her own behalf, and on the father on his own behalf, and from his daughter on her own behalf; it is not obligatory for a man to pay it on behalf of those on whom he spends, such as his wife and relatives. The basic principle with regard to obligatory duties is that they are required of each person as an individual and not on behalf of anyone else. End quote.

Secondly:

The husband is only required to pay zakaat al-fitr on behalf of his wife if he spends on her. It is well known that spending on one's wife is only obligatory if the wife is now living with the husband and she has allowed him to be intimate with her. If the wife is still living in her father’s house, then the husband does not have to spend on her, or pay zakaah al-fitr on her behalf.

Ibn Qudaamah said in al-Mughni (2/361): Every wife on whom he does not have to spend, such as one with whom he has not consummated the marriage because she has not joined him yet or she is a minor with whom he cannot be intimate, he does not have to spend on her or pay zakaat al-fitr on her behalf, because she is not one of those on whom he spends. End quote.

Al-Bahooti (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Kashshaaf al-Qinaa’ (2/252): The husband does not have to pay zakaat al-fitr on behalf of those on whom he is not obliged to spend, such as a wife with whom he has not consummated the marriage if she has not joined him yet.

End quote.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

Rulings and issues about praying on a chair

2011-08-26T16:29:00.000-07:00

Rulings and issues about praying on a chair

During Taraweeh prayer, some worshippers need to sit on a chair. We know that the rear legs of the chair should be placed in line with the row if the person is going sit throughout the prayer, but my question is: how should it be lined up in the following cases:

1- When the person sit on the chair during the standing only

2- When he sits on the chair during bowing, prostration or the tashahhud

3- When he sits on the chair during various parts of the prayer?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

Standing, bowing and prostrating are pillars or essential parts of the prayer. Whoever can do them, it is obligatory for him to do them in the manner prescribed in sharee’ah. Whoever is not able to do them because of sickness or old age, it is Sunnah for him to sit on the ground or on a chair.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Guard strictly (five obligatory) As‑Salawaat (the prayers) especially the middle Salaah (i.e. the best prayer ‑ ‘Asr). And stand before Allaah with obedience [and do not speak to others during the Salaah (prayers)]”

[al-Baqarah 2:238]

It was narrated that ‘Imraan ibn Husayn (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I had haemorrhoids so I asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about praying. He said: “Pray standing up; if you cannot, then pray sitting down; and if you cannot, then pray (lying) on your side.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1066.

Ibn Qudaamah al-Maqdisi said:

The scholars are unanimously agreed that if a person cannot stand then he may pray sitting down. Al-Mughni, 1/443

Al-Nawawi said:

The ummah is unanimously agreed that whoever is unable to stand during the obligatory prayer may pray sitting, and he does not have to repeat it. Our companions said: his reward will not be less than the reward for praying standing, because he is excused. It is proven in Saheeh al-Bukhaari that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a person is sick or travelling, the same reward will be written for him with regard to what he used to do when he was not travelling and was healthy.”

Al-Majmoo’, 4/226

Al-Shawkaani said:

The hadeeth of ‘Imraan indicates that it is permissible for one who has an excuse and cannot stand to pray sitting, and for one who has an excuse and cannot pray sitting to pray lying on his side.

Nayl al-Awtaar, 3/243

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:

The Muslims are agreed that if a worshipper is unable to do some of the obligatory duties of prayer, such as standing, reciting, bowing, prostrating, covering the ‘awrah, facing the qiblah etc, then what he is unable to do is waived for him. End quote from Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 8/437

Based on that, if a person offers an obligatory prayer sitting when he is able to stand, his prayer is invalid.

Secondly:

It should be noted that if a person is exempted from standing, his excuse does not make it permissible for him to sit on the chair to bow and prostrate.

If he is exempted from bowing and prostrating in the proper manner, that excuse does not make it permissible for him not to stand and to sit on the chair instead.

The basic principle with regard to the obligatory duties of prayer is that whatever the worshipper can do, he is obliged to do it, and whatever he is unable to do, is waived for him.

Whoever is unable to stand, it is permissible for him to sit on a chair during the standing, and he should bow and prostrate in the proper manner. If he is able to stand but it is difficult for him to bow and prostrate, he should pray standing, then sit on the chair when bowing and prostrating, and he should bend lower for the prostration than for the bowing.

See also question no. 9307 and 36738.

Ibn Qudaamah al-Maqdisi said:

If a person is able to stand but he cannot bow or prostrate, the standing is not waived for him; he should pray standing and tilt his head for the bowing, then sit down and tilt his head for the prostration. This is the view of al-Shaafa’i…

Because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And stand before Allaah with obedience” [al-Baqarah 2:238], and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Pray standing.” And because standing is one of the pillars (essential parts of prayer) for the one who is able to do it, so he must do it, like the recitation. Being unable to do other things does not mean that this is waived, as is also the case if he is unable to recite. End quote from al-Mughni, 1/44.

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

The one who prays sitting on the ground or on a chair must make his prostration lower than his bowing. The Sunnah is for him to put his hands on his knees when bowing, and when prostrating the Sunnah is to put them on the ground if possible; if he cannot do that then he should put them on his knees, because it was proven that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I have been commanded to prostrate on seven bones: the forehead – and he pointed to his nose – the two hands, the two knees, and the edges of the two feet (i.e., the toes).”

If a person is unable to do that and prays on a chair, there is nothing wrong with that, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“So keep your duty to Allaah and fear Him as much as you can”

[al-Taghaabaun 64:16]

and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If I tell you to do a thing, then do as much of it as you can.” Saheeh – agreed upon.

Fataawa Ibn Baaz, 12/245, 246.

Thirdly:

With regard to the placement of the chair in the row, the scholars (may Allaah have mercy on them) stated that the one who prays sitting down should have his posterior in line with the row when he is sitting, so he should not be in front of the row or behind it at that point, because that is the place in which the body settles.

See Asnaa al-Mataalib, 1/222; Tuhfat al-Muhtaaj, 2/157; Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat, 1/279.

It says in al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (6/21):

In order for a person’s following the imam to be valid, he should not stand in front of the imam according to the majority of fuqaha’ (Hanafis, Shaafaa’is and Hanbalis).

How do we know whether he is in front of the imam or not, it is judged by where the heels are. If they are standing level at the heel and the toes of the one who is praying behind the imam turn out to be in front because he has longer feet, that does not matter. With regard to those who are sitting, it is judged by where the posterior is. And with regard to those who are praying on their sides, it is judged by their sides.

If the worshipper is going to pray on the chair from the beginning of the prayer until the end, then he should make the place where he will sit level with the row.

If he is going to pray standing, but he will sit on the chair when he bows and prostrates, we asked Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Barraak about that, and he said that what matters here is the standing position, so he should be level with the row when standing.

Based on this, the chair will be behind the row, so it should be placed in such a manner that it will not disturb worshippers in the row behind.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

Du’as for the sick (collection of posts)

2011-08-23T16:31:00.000-07:00

Dua of a sick person is readily accepted

Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) has said, ‘When you visit a sick person, then tell him to make dua for you, because his duas are (accepted readily) like the duas of the Angels.’ (Ibn Maajah)

Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) has also said, ‘The dua of a sick person is not rejected until he recovers from his sickness.’ (Ibn Abiddunyaa)

—————————————————————————–

Volume 7, Book 71, Number 638

Narrated ‘Abdul ‘Aziz:

Thabit and I went to Anas bin Malik. Thabit said, “O Abu Hamza! I am sick.” On that Anas said, “Shall I treat you with the Ruqya of Allah’s Apostle?” Thabit said, “Yes,” Anas recited, “O Allah! The Lord of the people, the Remover of trouble! (Please) cure (Heal) (this patient), for You are the Healer. None brings about healing but You; a healing that will leave behind no ailment.”

—————————————————————————–

Hadrat Aa’isha (Radiyallaahu anha) relates that whenever Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) would become ill, he would recite the Mu’awwizaat (Surah al-Falaq and Surah an-Naas) and then blow his breath over himself and rub his hands over his (auspicious) body. (Bukhaari and Muslim) She also says that when anyone in his family was sick, he would recite the Mu’awwizaat and blow onto the sick person’s body. (Sahih Muslim)

*****

“Here are few of the supplications you can use for purpose of healing as mentioned in the Sunnah:

1) Allahumma rabba al-nnas adhhibi al-ba’sa ishfi anta al-sshafi la shifa’a illa shifa’ula shifa’an la yughadiru saqaman (O Allah, O Lord of Mankind, remove the affliction and send down cure and healing, for no one can cure but You; so cure in such a way that no trace of illness is left).

2) As’alu Allaha al-azem rabba al-‘arshi al-azem an yashfiyane (I beseech Allah, the Great, Lord of the Mighty Throne, to heal me).

3) A’udhu bi izzati Allahi wa qudratihi mimma ajidu wa uhadhiru (I seek refuge and protection in the august might and power of Allah from the pain and illness I am suffering from and I’m afraid of).

Furthermore, you may also repeat and meditate on some of the beautiful Names of Allah: i.e., ya rahamanu ya rahem; ya shafi, (O the most Merciful one, O the Healer and curer).”

****

It was the practice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), if he suffered some complaint, to recite verses seeking refuge with Allaah over himself and then spit drily. This was narrated by al-Bukhari (4728) and Muslim (5679). It is also Sunnah for the sick person to put his hand on the part of his body that is suffering pain and say “Bismillaah (in the name of Allaah)” three times, then to say seven times: “A’oodhu Billaahi wa qudratihi min sharri ma ajidu wa uhaadhir (I seek refuge in Allaah and His power from the evil of what I feel and what I fear).” Narrated by Muslim, 5701.

The United Muslimahs's Notes On Facebook

2011-07-04T16:58:00.000-07:00

The United Muslimahs's Notes On Facebook

Victims of free mixing

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=167943186565181

What a Muslim husband should be like

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=173828402643326

***Beautiful Woman and her husband***

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=176632272362939

Muslim College Life; Dating, Drinking and Deen

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=176837475675752

The Major Sins --Al-Kaba'r--

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=176838432342323

Carry Me In Your Arms

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=207168859309280

50 Things You Need to Know About Marital Relationships

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=207173432642156

How to Make your Husband Happy

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=207595685933264

How to make your Wife happy ?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=207594165933416

Love mentioned in Qur'an and Hadith

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=170569689635864

Some Safety Tips for Muslim Women

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=207606545932178

10 common mistakes that destroy a relationship of marriage

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=207597705933062

Sources of Unlawfulness…

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=207838475908985

10 Steps to Increasing our Iman (Faith)

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=207842955908537

Keys to Happiness

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=207841855908647

A wife in Islam should..

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=208233325869500

10 steps to drawing closer to Allah

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=207842519241914

What is more stable in Islam, a love marriage or an arranged marriage?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=209684569057709

Does nail polish invalidate wudoo’ and do the prayers have to be repeated?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=210453068980859

The pleasures of this world

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=210656988960467

Sin and its effects on the one who commits it

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=211485372210962

Ruling on in-vitro fertilization (IVF)

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=211487965544036

Places Where You Can Find The United Muslimahs

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=211902955502537

With Those Who Cry…

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=212134262146073

Questions to ask a prospective husband

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=209706279055538

Allaah is Beautiful and Loves Beauty

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=212415792117920

Look in the Mirror…

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=212135748812591

Al Fawaa’id – Ibn Qayyim ~

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=214167061942793

Falling in Love Online - Good or Bad?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=214173398608826

When One's Spouse Commits Adultery

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=214174091942090

The advent of modern technology...

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=213765051982994

How to cure an impure heart

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=215033365189496

Prayer in congregation is not obligatory for women, and a woman's prayer in her house, even on her own, is better

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=215177788508387

The way in which women pray is the same as the way in which men pray?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=215176645175168

Where should a woman stand when leading other women in prayer, and the preference for women to pray in their homes

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=215178588508307

3 Questions

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=216058955086937

Sincere Repentance

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=216620675030765

How should a Muslimah Treat Her Sisters In Islam?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=216883568337809

Will a woman be with her husband in Paradise?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=218245521534947

Salah : Life's Forgotten

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=218502171509282

Pious Husband

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=218777528148413

Love says I sacrifice myself for the good of the other person...

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=219037268122439

15 Ways to increase earnings with proofs from Quran and Sunnah

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=219060708120095

The duty of the Muslim towards a non-Muslim

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=219061524786680

A Beautiful Love Story

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=220376077988558

What it is Permissible for the Suitor to See of His Fiancee Before the Wedding?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=222645121094987

Advice to the Sisters in Islam

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=222646017761564

A Deserted Sunnah : Saying, “ Bismillah “ when you Trip

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=224511317575034

4 things that...

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=224957417530424

Islamic Expressions

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=224961140863385

FATWA

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=224962390863260

MARRIAGE BETWEEN MUSLIMS AND NON-MUSLIMS

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=226914460668053

Burying a non-Muslim in a Muslim Cemetery and Vice Versa

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=226936497332516

Similarities Between Islam And Christianity By Dr. Zakir Naik

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=226982917327874

Freedom of Expression in Islam From Mohammad Hashim Kamali’s - A MUST reading !!!

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=227091877316978

Freedom Of Expression Dr. Fathi Osman

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=227094437316722

The Believer does not Curse

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=227099507316215

ANGER:

Ten Ways

to Defeat It

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=227109933981839

What It Means To Be Moderate

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=231508173542015

Women cutting their hair and removing facial hair

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=241815582511274

THINGS TO CONSIDER AND ASK, FOR THOSE SEEKING TO MARRY

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=241848775841288

It is not permissible for a man to be away from his wife for more than four months

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242016349157864

Why is Polygamy allowed in Islam?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242018562490976

Sexual rights in Islam

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242034289156070

“They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them…”

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242035912489241

Is it allowed in Islam to say one prayers with Nail-color on ?.

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242355969123902

Advice to one who does not want to get married

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242358149123684

Her wali repeatedly refused suitors; can she arrange her own marriage?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242593129100186

Ruling on surgery that causes sterility

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242602142432618

Is it permissible to engage in coitus interruptus or to use a condom?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242603859099113

Using the birth control pill and the coil

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242605132432319

KNOW YOUR RIGHT SISTERS: Ruling on abortion, divorcing a pregnant woman and putting pressure on a wife to make her give up her rights

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242608789098620

Does she have the right to ask for divorce ...

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-united-muslimahs/126595267391959?sk=notes&s=30#!/note.php?note_id=242615065764659

Rings and marriage in Islam

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242642015761964

What is the Islamic ruling concerning the removal of hair from between the eyebrows?

http://www.facebook.com/notes/the-united-muslimahs/what-is-the-islamic-ruling-concerning-the-removal-of-hair-from-between-the-eyebr/242739455752220

Nail Polish and Pray

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242802442412588

The things that break wudoo...

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242805172412315

Ruling on using eggs or sperm from someone other than the spouses in artificial insemination

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242957729063726

Starting solid foods during infancy

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242968355729330

What is botulism?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242972035728962

The Things that Nullify one’s Ablution

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=242980052394827

Can she divorce a husband whom she does not love?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?created&&note_id=242983085727857&id=126595267391959#!/note.php?note_id=242983085727857

Divorcing a woman by talaaq when she is pregnant

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243067235719442

How should a man take back his wife after divorcing her?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243071462385686

Information about the Shi’ah - There are many groups among them; some are kaafirs and some are not kaafirs-

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243465122346320

What the Shi’ah do on ‘Ashoora’ is bid’ah (innovation) and misguidance

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243469502345882

She loves a man who is not a Sunni and wants to marry him

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243470812345751

She likes someone and he asked her to go out with him, what should she do?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243665502326282

Love and correspondence before marriage

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243672778992221

He fell in love with a girl then he repented. Can he be friends with her?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243681238991375

The United Muslimahs Quiz 1

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243712628988236

The United Muslimahs Quiz 2

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243714638988035

60 Quranic Ayat's To Help in Every Way of Life...

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=243716965654469

'You' and 'I': The Art of Communication in Marital Life

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=245564248803074

The United Muslimahs third Quiz

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=245568848802614

Can she divorce a husband whom she does not love?

2011-07-04T16:40:00.000-07:00

Islam does not want to impose an unbearable burden on women by forcing them to marry a man they dislike, because it wants marriages to be successful, based on compatibility between the partners; there should be common ground between them in terms of physical looks, attitudes, habits, inclinations and aspirations. If something goes wrong, and the woman feels that she cannot love her husband sincerely, and fears that she may commit the sin of disobeying and opposing this husband whom she does not love, then she may ask for a divorce. This is confirmed by the report in which the wife of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shammas, Jamilah the sister of ‘Abdullah ibn Ubayy, came to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I have nothing against Thabit ibn Qays as regards his religion or his behavior, but I hate to commit any act of kufr when I am a Muslim. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “Will you give his garden back to him?” - her mahr had been a garden. She said, “Yes.” So Allah’s Messenger sent word to him: “Take back your garden, and give her one pronouncement of divorce.”

From: The Ideal Muslim Woman and Her Husband
(An Excerpt from the Book “The Ideal Muslimah: The True Islâmic Personality of the Muslim Woman as Defined in the Qur’ân and Sunnah”)
By Dr. Muhammad ‘Ali Al-Hashimi
@http://www.wefound.org/texts/Ideal_Muslims_files/herhusband.htm

The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) warned those foolish women who ask their husbands for a divorce with no legitimate reason that they would be denied even the scent of Paradise:

“Any woman who asks her husband for a divorce with no good reason will be deprived of even smelling the scent of Paradise.”

Divorcing a woman by talaaq when she is pregnant

2011-07-04T16:38:00.000-07:00

Divorcing a woman by talaaq when she is pregnant
My husband divorced me while I was pregnant than before I gave birth to my child he came back and said that we are not divorced since pregnant women can’t be divorced. So I would like to know am I really divorced or not. My husband and I love each other very much and now we have a baby son. Please do reply to me as soon as possible.

Praise be to Allaah.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked whether a woman may be divorced by talaaq when she is pregnant. He said:
This is an idea which is common among some people. Some of the people think that a pregnant woman cannot be divorced by talaaq. I do not know where they get this idea from, for it has no basis in the words of the scholars. Rather the view of all the scholars is that a pregnant woman can be divorced by talaaq. There is consensus on this point among the scholars, and there is no dispute. Talaaq according to the Sunnah means that a woman may be divorced in two cases:
1 – She may be divorced when she is pregnant; this is a Sunnah divorce and is not bid’ah.
2 – She should be taahir (pure, i.e., not menstruating) and her husband should not have touched her (i.e., had intercourse with her), i.e., she should have become taahir following menstruation or nifaas (post-natal bleeding) and before he has intercourse with her. Talaaq in this case is in accordance with the Sunnah.
Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 1/45-46
So long as he took her back during the ‘iddah, then she is still his wife, because the ‘iddah of a woman who is pregnant ends when she gives birth, and her husband took her back before she gave birth. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And for those who are pregnant (whether they are divorced or their husbands are dead), their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is until they lay down their burden”
[al-Talaaq 65:4]
This is the ‘iddah of the pregnant woman whether she is divorced or widowed. The husband should count this as one talaaq. And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid;

How should a man take back his wife after divorcing her?

2011-07-04T16:35:00.001-07:00

How should a man take back his wife after divorcing her?

I know when getting married a person needs their parents blessing and consent but what if a married couple are separated and are considering returning to each other, do they still need their parents blessing all over again?

Praise be to Allaah.

If a man divorces his wife and this is the first or second talaaq and she has not ended her ‘iddah (by giving birth if she is pregnant or by the passage of three menstrual cycles), then he can take his wife back by saying, “I am taking you back” or “I am keeping you.” Then his taking her back is valid. Or he may do some action intending thereby to take her back, such as having intercourse with the intention of taking her back.

The Sunnah is to have two witnesses to the fact that he has taken her back, so that two witnesses testify to that, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Then when they are about to attain their term appointed, either take them back in a good manner or part with them in a good manner. And take as witness two just persons from among you (Muslims)”[al-Talaaq 65:2]

In this manner a man may take his wife back.

But if the ‘iddah has ended following a first or second talaaq, then there has to be a new marriage contract. In this case he has to propose marriage like any other man, to her guardian and to her. When she and her guardian agree and they agree upon a mahr, then the marriage contract is completed. That must be done in the presence of two just witnesses.

But if the divorce is the final – i.e., third – divorce, then she becomes haraam for him until another man has married her, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And if he has divorced her (the third time), then she is not lawful unto him thereafter until she has married another husband” [al-Baqarah 2:230]

So it is not permissible for him to marry her unless she has been married to another man and the marriage has been consummated, then he leaves her either through death or divorce. This marriage must be a legitimate shar’i marriage; if she marries him just to make it permissible for her to go back to her first husband, that is not permitted and she does not become permissible (to the first husband).

See Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz, 1/195-201.

60 Quranic Ayat's To Help in Every Way of Life...

2011-07-04T16:33:00.000-07:00

1. Respect and honour all human beings irrespective of their religion, colour, race, sex, language, status, property, birth, profession/job and so on [17/70]

2. Talk straight, to the point, without any ambiguity or deception [33/70]

3. Choose best words to speak and say them in the best possible way [17/53, 2/83]

4. Do not shout. Speak politely keeping your voice low. [31/19]

5. Always speak the truth. Shun words that are deceitful and ostentatious [22/30]

6. Do not confound truth with falsehood [2/42]

7. Say with your mouth what is in your heart [3/167]

8. Speak in a civilized manner in a language that is recognized by the society and is commonly used [4/5]

9. When you voice an opinion, be just, even if it is against a relative [6/152]

10. Do not be a bragging boaster [31/18]

11. Do not talk, listen or do anything vain [23/3, 28/55]

12. Do not participate in any paltry. If you pass near a futile play, then pass by with dignity [25/72]

13. Do not verge upon any immodesty or lewdness whether surreptitious or overt [6/151].

14. If, unintentionally, any misconduct occurs by you, then correct yourself expeditiously [3/134].

15. Do not be contemptuous or arrogant with people [31/18]

16. Do not walk haughtily or with conceit [17/37, 31/18]

17. Be moderate in thy pace [31/19]

18. Walk with humility and sedateness [25/63]

19. Keep your gazes lowered devoid of any lecherous leers and salacious stares [24/30-31, 40/19].

20. If you do not have complete knowledge about anything, better keep your mouth shut. You might think that speaking about something without full knowledge is a trivial matter. But it might have grave consequences [24/15-16]

21. When you hear something malicious about someone, keep a favorable view about him/her until you attain full knowledge about the matter.
Consider others innocent until they are proven guilty with solid and truthful evidence [24/12-13]

22. Ascertain the truth of any news, lest you smite someone in ignorance and afterwards repent of what you did [49/6]

23. Do not follow blindly any information of which you have no direct knowledge. (Using your faculties of perception and conception) you must verify it for yourself. In the Court of your Lord, you will be held accountable for your hearing, sight, and the faculty of reasoning [17/36].

24. Never think that you have reached the final stage of knowledge and nobody knows more than yourself. Remember! Above everyone endowed with knowledge is another endowed with more knowledge [12/76]. Even the Prophet [p.b.u.h] was asked to keep praying, "O My sustainer! Advance
me in knowledge." [20:114]

25. The believers are but a single Brotherhood. Live like members of one family, brothers and sisters unto one another [49/10].

26. Do not make mockery of others or ridicule others [49/11]

27. Do not defame others [49/11]

28. Do not insult others by nicknames [49/11]

29. Avoid suspicion and guesswork. Suspicion and guesswork might deplete your communal energy [49/12]

30. Spy not upon one another [49/12]

31. Do not backbite one another [49/12]

32. When you meet each other, offer good wishes and blessings for safety. One who conveys to you a message of safety and security and also when a courteous greeting is offered to you, meet it with a greeting still more courteous or (at least) of equal courtesy [4/86]

33. When you enter your own home or the home of somebody else, compliment the inmates [24/61]

34. Do not enter houses other than your own until you have sought permission; and then greet the inmates and wish them a life of
blessing, purity and pleasure [24/27]

35. Treat kindly
" Your parents
" Relatives
" The orphans
" And those who have been left alone in the society [4/36]

36. Take care of
" The needy,
" The disabled
" Those whose hard earned income is insufficient to meet their needs
" And those whose businesses have stalled
" And those who have lost their jobs. [4/36]

37. Treat kindly
" Your related neighbors, and unrelated neighbors " Companions by your side in public gatherings, or public transportation. [4/36]

38. Be generous to the needy wayfarer, the homeless son of the street, and the one who reaches you in a destitute condition [4/36]

39. Be nice to people who work under your care. [4/36]

40. Do not follow up what you have given to others to afflict them with reminders of your generosity [2/262].

41. Do not expect a return for your good behavior, not even thanks [76/9]

42. Cooperate with one another in good deeds and do not cooperate with others in evil and bad matters [5/2]

43. Do no try to impress people on account of self-proclaimed virtues [53/32]

44. You should enjoin right conduct on others but mend your own ways first. Actions speak louder than words. You must first practice good deeds yourself, then preach [2/44]

45. Correct yourself and your families first [before trying to correct others] [66/6]

46. Pardon gracefully if anyone among you who commits a bad deed out of ignorance, and then repents and amends [6/54, 3/134]

47. Divert and sublimate your anger and potentially virulent emotions to creative energy, and become a source of tranquility and comfort to people [3/134]

48. Call people to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful exhortation. Reason with them most decently [16/125]

49. Leave to themselves those who do not give any importance to the Divine code and have adopted and consider it as mere play and amusement [6/70]

50. Sit not in the company of those who ridicule Divine Law unless they engage in some other conversation [4/140]

51. Do not be jealous of those who are blessed [4/54]

52. In your collective life, make rooms for others [58/11]

53. When invited to dine, Go at the appointed time. Do not arrive too early to wait for the preparation of meal or linger after eating to engage in bootless babble. Such things may cause inconvenience to the host [33/53]

54. Eat and drink [what is lawful] in moderation [7/31].

55. Do not squander your wealth senselessly [17/26]

56. Fulfill your promises and commitments [17/34]

57. Keep yourself clean, pure [9/108, 4/43, 5/6].

58. Dress-up in agreeable attire and adorn yourself with exquisite character from inside out [7/26]

59. Seek your provision only by fair endeavor [29/17, 2/188]

60. Do not devour the wealth and property of others unjustly, nor bribe the officials or the judges to deprive others of their possessions [2/188]

'You' and 'I': The Art of Communication in Marital Life

2011-07-04T16:31:00.000-07:00

He said he was coming in ten minutes’ time. Ten minutes pass, half an hour, an hour, and then he shows up....

The wife: "You said ten minutes, and I have been waiting here for an hour."
The husband: "Forgive me, there was too much traffic."

The wife: "This is not the first time. That’s the way you are; always late. You should have called me."

The husband: "My phone is out of credit, and I have no credit to call."

The wife: "How can I trust you? Do you think I am stupid and that all I have to do is to wait for you?"

He looks at her in confusion and stops talking.
Dear husband and wife,

The husband started with a real excuse, then he chose to protect his marital bond through silence...

Change the "you" into an "I":

The term "you" is nothing but a formula for failure in communicating with your husband. It means:“You are guilty and responsible and you have to change. But I am not responsible.”

"I" means that you are thinking in an attempt to interpret the cause of anger. In the above example, the wife is angry, not because the husband is late but because she feels that she is not important to him, which leads to frustration and then anger. This emotion builds up as time passes, and as her attempt to interpret the cause of his delay continues, it leads to other thoughts:

"He always neglects me."
"He gives no importance to me."
"His work is more important to him than me."
"He thinks I have no feelings."

Another emotion:

Why not express the reaction to the delay by using a different emotion?
Feeling sad because she is lonely?

Being afraid that he should be concerned with anything more than her?

Feeling guilty lest she may have done something which made him come home late?

Fearing that something bad might have happened to him?

Sometimes, she could be glad because she managed to be ready before his arrival.

So, when she meets him, she could say:

"I am sad that you came home late, because this means that I am not important to you."

"If only you knew how afraid I was because you were late… I thought something might have happened to you and I was so worried about you."

"If only you knew how eagerly I await you coming home!"

Then, watch him with his eyes sparkling, approaching you, trying to prove the opposite of that. No man on earth can resist such a reception. If the man were to know that he would be received in this way, surely, he would do his best to arrive as soon as possible the next time. Conversely, if he knows there will be a dispute, he will say to himself, "A quarrel is awaiting me anyway, whether I am late for ten minutes or an hour."

In order not to aggravate the situation, the husband could have said to her when he arrived, "I know that you are upset because I am late and that you have been waiting for me. I apologize."

If each of the spouses leaves the "you" formula, the dialogue will remain open, otherwise, frustration will recur, giving room for anger and resentment to accumulate, which makes any further communication even more difficult.

"I" means that you should ask yourself: "Why am I aggravated?" If you know and address the real cause of aggravation, the pent-up feelings will not accumulate and the reaction will not be negative.

Men must realize that women naturally incline towards caring for others, and devote themselves wholeheartedly to doing so. When a woman’s husband is late, she is concerned about that, and may become tense, and her life and housework may come to a halt because she is worried about him.

The wife should realize that saying "I" instead of "You", and expressing herself using her emotional intelligence will go a long way towards maintaining the channels of communication between her and her husband, instead of silence and an end to dialogue.

Iblees and Aadam… I and you

Consider, dear reader, the difference between the speech of Iblees (Satan), may Allaah curse him, and the speech of Aadam . In the Noble Quran, Iblees says (what means): {"My Lord, because You have put me in error}[Quran 15:39] i.e. 'You are the cause', Exalted and Hallowed be Allaah The Almighty from what he says. On the other hand, Aadam says: {"Our Lord, we have wronged ourselves} [Quran 7:23] it means he holds himself responsible for the sin.

source: Islamweb..

@http://pink-pearll.blogspot.com/2011/07/you-and-i-art-of-communication-in.html

Zerbian chicken

2011-05-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

Zerbian chicken is a wonderfully fragrant Saudi dish. Turmeric and cilantro give the dish a fresh look and taste while the simple spices keep up with Saudi traditions. This dish is usually created using a whole chicken but really my family and I enjoy the breast so that is usually what I use. Please remember when cooking Arabic rice N...EVER remove the lid once you place it on the pot. The steam is what actually cooks the rice as it sits. Once the rice has finished small holes will appear all over the top of the rice, this is why I use glass lids.

4-6 boneless and skinless chicken breasts, cubed
2 cups basmati rice
1/4 cup chopped cilantro
1 large white onion
1/4 teaspoon turmeric
2 tablespoons sunflower oil
1/3 cup yogurt
4 cardamom greens, bruised
1 tablespoon fresh ginger sliced
1 small cinnamon stick
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/4 cup toasted pine nuts

1. In a 4-quart saucepan on high heat add 1 tablespoon oil, rice, cilantro, 1/2 of onion and water. Bring to a full boil then reduce to low and cover. Cook for 15-20 minutes. Sprinkle some parts of rice with turmeric, cover and allow sitting for 10 minutes.

2. Meanwhile, in a sauté pan on medium heat add remaining oil. Add chicken and remaining onion allowing to fully cooking until chicken is no longer pink and onions are tender. Add cardamoms, ginger, cinnamon, pepper and cumin, mix well.

3.Add rice and yogurt into the sauté pan, combining all ingredients well. Allow to cook on low for 10 minutes covered. Place al roz al Zerbian on a serving dish and sprinkle pine nuts on top.

Yields: 4-6 servings

Read more: http://www.yasalamcooking.com/#ixzz1NJ4nlb81See More

Secrets of Happy Married Couples

2011-05-05T15:39:00.000-07:00

Secrets of Happy Married Couples

A man and his fiance were married. It was a large celebration. All of their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony and to partake of the festivities and celebrations. A wonderful time was had by all.

...The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was very dashing in his black...... tuxedo. Everyone could tell that the love they had for each other was true.

A few months later, the wife comes to the husband with a proposal: "I read in a magazine, a while ago, about how we can strengthen our marriage." She offered.

"Each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk about how we can fix them together and make our lives happier together."

The husband agreed. So each of them went to a separate room in the house and thought of the things that annoyed them about the other. They thought about this question for the rest of the day and wrote down what they came up with.

The next morning, at the breakfast table, they decided that they would go over their lists.

"I'll start," offered the wife. She took out her list. It had many items on it.
Enough to fill 3 pages, in fact.

As she started reading the list of the little annoyances, she noticed that tears were starting to appear in her husbands eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing" the husband replied, "keep reading your list."

The wife continued to read until she had read all three pages to her husband.
She neatly placed her list on the table and folded her hands over top of it.

"Now, you read your list and then we'll talk about the things on both of our lists." She said happily.

Quietly the husband stated,"I don't have anything on my list. I think that you are perfect the way that you are. I don't want you to change anything for me.
You are lovely and wonderful and I wouldn't want to try and change anything about you."

The wife, touched by his honesty and the depth of his love for her and his acceptance of her, turned her head and wept.

Listen to the prophet pbuh when he said:
'No believing man should hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.”

This saying shows how humble and kind the husband is, he might dislike one of his wife’s characteristics, but he will do his best to find another quality in her which he may like and so, he will not care so much about what he dislike in his wife.

IN LIFE, there are enough times when we are disappointed, depressed and annoyed. We don't really have to go looking for them.

We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty, light and promise.

Why waste time in this world looking for the bad, disappointing or annoying things when we can look around us, and see the wondrous things before us?

I believe that WE ARE HAPPIEST when we see and praise the good and try our best to forget the mistakes of our spouse. Nobody's perfect but we can find perfection in them to change the way we see them. It is necessary to understand the difficulties and be a helping hand to each other....THAT BRIGHTENS THE RELATIONSHIP.

The Importance of a good wife to her husband (and of course vice versa) is Great to Allah (God). Nothing can illustrate the point better than the Qur'anic statement which describes the righteous people as those who pray:

"Rabba-na hab la-na min azwaji-na wa dhuriyyati-na qurrata a'yunin wa aj'al-na li al muttaqin imama"

"Our Lord! give us spouse and children who will be the joy( and the comfort ) of our eyes, and guide us to be models of righteous (make us Leader of God-concious people)."
(Qur'an 25:74)

May Allah bless all present and future marriages with love, happiness, peace, and success.
Inshallah,you will be blessed with God fearing spouse. Ameen

Does nail polish invalidate wudoo’ and do the prayers have to be repeated?

2011-04-08T09:40:00.001-07:00

http://theunitedmuslimahs.smfforfree3.com/index.php/topic,1608.0/topicseen.html

Does nail polish invalidate wudoo’ and do the prayers have to be repeated?

A woman was away from the city, and did not know that the nail polish must be removed to make wudu’ and pray. When she knew she must remove it, she tried to find a nail varnish remover to use but she could not find it. She could not go to the city to buy it either. She was making ablution and praying with it on for one week. What is the ruling on this?.

Praise be to Allaah.

One of the conditions of tahaarah (purification) being valid is that the water must touch the skin. If there is any barrier such as grease, paint, wax or glue that prevents water reaching the skin, then the tahaarah is not valid and prayers offered in that case are not valid.

The evidence for that is the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with him): “If you find water, then let it touch your skin, for that is good.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (332); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

Imam al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

If there is on him any mastic or anything thick that will prevent the water from reaching the skin, his washing of that part for wudoo’ is not valid, unless he removes it or removes enough so that he knows that there is no barrier to the water touching the skin. End quote.

Al-Umm (1/44).

Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

If there is wax, dough, henna and the like on one of his limbs, which prevents water from reaching any part of it, then his tahaarah is not valid, whether the amount is large or small. If there are traces of henna and its colour left on the hand, without there being any solid material left, or elsewhere, or traces of liquid grease whereby water flows over the limb but does not stay there, his tahaarah is valid. End quote.

Al-Majmoo’ (1/529).

It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (5/218):

If the colour is impermeable, then wudoo’ is not valid unless it is removed before doing wudoo’. If it is not impermeable, then wudoo’ is valid, as is the case with henna. End quote.

Hence this woman should have tried to find something to remove this nail polish, even if she had to go far away to find a place that sold it. She could also have removed it by using a strong kitchen cleaning agent or by rubbing it with a cloth dampened with liquid fuel, and so on.

We do not think that this woman has any excuse for praying with wudoo’ that was invalid because of this nail polish. Ignorance may mean that she is free of sin but it does not make the prayer valid.

She has to repeat the prayers that she offered with wudoo’ that was invalid because of this nail polish.

We ask Allaah to forgive us and her.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

Ruling on in-vitro fertilization (IVF)

2011-04-08T09:39:00.003-07:00

Ruling on in-vitro fertilization (IVF)
I just wanted to know that is it permissible in the quran and sunnah to have a IVF treatment for children one of the sisters i know has been trying for a while to have children but is finding it very difficult so i would appreciate it if u could reply as soon as possible.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:
Undoubtedly children are one of the blessings and adornments of this world, and one of the greatest purposes of marriage is to produce offspring. A righteous child is a treasure for his parents in this world and in the Hereafter, and his righteous deeds will be recorded in the balance of his parents’ deeds. A man or a woman may be faced with lack of children or delay of having children. What they must do is be patient and seek reward, and say a lot of du’aa’ and prayers for forgiveness. They should understand that Allaah only decrees things for a reason. If a person has available Islamically acceptable means of getting children, there is nothing wrong with his pursuing that. But the Muslim should beware of false ways involving sihr (witchcraft) and myths, and he should beware of doctors who do not fear Allaah and whose main aim is to make money from those who want to have children. Hence some of them switch eggs or sperm. This is why some scholars have forbidden these methods of having children or have stipulated very strict conditions.
Secondly:
One of the methods that doctors use to help couples have children is that which is mentioned in the question, namely IVF. This method involves stimulating the ovary to produce a number of eggs, similar to the way in which a woman naturally produces one egg. This is done by giving the woman an injection of Decapeptyl to prepare the ovaries for the next step, which is injections of hormones to stimulate the ovaries to produce a number of eggs. After ascertaining that the eggs have grown, the woman is given an injection of HCG to complete the development of the eggs before they are extracted. This injection is usually given 36 hours before the eggs are extracted.
On the day on which the eggs are extracted, semen is taken from the husband and 100,000 sperm are placed with each egg in a test tube so that fertilization may take place. Two or three days later, the fertilized eggs divide to form what is called the embryo, and the embryos are divided into categories according to their quality. The best embryos are selected to be returned to the uterus, where they are placed, and later on an examination is carried out to make sure whether there is a pregnancy or not. The success rate of this procedure according to doctors is 30-40 %.
This summary was mentioned by Dr Usaamah Saalihah, a specialist in gynaecology, obstetrics, infertility and laparoscopic surgery. in Britain, and the director of the test tube baby unit in the new Dar al-Shifa’ Hospital.
From al-Watan Clinic magazine.
Thirdly:
With regard to the shar’i ruling: it should be disallowed, in order to be on the safe side. This is the view of Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah al-Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) and it was quoted from the scholars of the Standing Committee – as we quoted from them in the answer to question no. 1992. Or it may be permissible subject to certain conditions, including the following:
1 – That there be a real need for that. A delay of one or two years in having children is not an excuse for the couple to pursue this or similar methods. Rather they should be patient, for Allaah may grant them a way out soon without them doing anything that is haraam.
2 – The woman should not uncover her ‘awrah before men when there are female staff available.
3 – It is not permissible for the husband to masturbate, rather he may be intimate with his wife without penetration, and produce semen in this manner.
4 – The woman’s eggs and man’s sperm should not be kept in a freezer for later use, or another appointment, and there should not be any delay in placing them in the woman’s uterus. Rather that should be done immediately without any delay, lest they be mixed with others or be used for other people.
5 –The sperm must come from the husband and the egg from the wife, and be implanted in the wife’s uterus. Anything else is not permissible at all. See the answer to question no. 21871 and 23104.
6 – There should be complete trust in the doctors who are doing this procedure.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about the ruling on putting a woman’s egg in a test tube then fertilizing it with the man’s sperm, then returning it to the woman’s uterus so that it may develop.
He replied:
(a) If there is no need for this procedure then we do not think it is permissible, because it involves surgery to extract the eggs – as you mention in the question – and this surgery involves uncovering the ‘awrah unnecessarily, then it involves surgery and there is the fear that it may have effects even in the distant future, such as damaging the Fallopian tube or causing infections.
Moreover, if things are left to proceed naturally as created by the Most merciful of those who show mercy and the Wisest of judges, that is closer to proper etiquette with Allaah and it is better and more beneficial than ways invented by man, which may appear initially to be good but they fail later on.
(b) If there is a need for this procedure, then we do not think there is anything wrong with it, so long as three conditions are met:
1 – That this fertilization be done with the husband’s sperm. It is not permissible to use the sperm of anyone but the husband for this fertilization, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And Allaah has made for you Azwaaj (mates or wives) of your own kind, and has made for you, from your wives, sons and grandsons, and has bestowed on you good provision. Do they then believe in false deities and deny the Favour of Allaah (by not worshipping Allaah Alone)”
[al-Nahl 16:27]
2 – The collection of sperm from the man should be done in a permissible manner, such as by the husband being intimate with his wife, and ejaculating between her thighs or in her hand, so that the semen may be emitted, then the egg may be fertilized with it.
3 – After fertilization, the egg should be placed in the wife’s uterus. It is not permissible to place it in the uterus of any other woman under any circumstances whatsoever, because that involves inserting the sperm of the man into the uterus of a woman who is not permissible for him, and Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth, when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allaah to bestow upon you pious offspring) for your ownselves beforehand. And fear Allaah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم)”
[al-Baqarah 2:223]
Tilth is mentioned specifically with regard to a man’s wife, which indicates that a woman other than his wife is not appropriate for his tilth. End quote.
Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh al-‘Uthaymeen (17/p. 27, 28).
And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) also said:
Artificial fertilization is when the husband’s sperm is taken and placed in the uterus of the wife by means of a syringe. This is a very serious issue. Who can be certain that the doctor will not put the sperm of one man in the uterus of someone else’s wife?! Hence we think that precautions must be taken and we should not issue fatwas except in specific cases where we know the man, the woman and the doctor. As for opening the door to this, there is the fear of evil consequences.
The matter is not to be taken lightly, because if any deceit takes place, it means that lineages will be mixed, and there will be chaos, which is something that sharee’ah has forbidden. Hence the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “One should not have intercourse with a pregnant woman until she gives birth.” I will not issue fatwas to this effect, unless a specific case is referred to me and I know the man, the woman and the doctor.
Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (17/question no. 9)
This is the verdict of the Islamic Fiqh Council of the Organization of the Islamic Conference in which it says: There is nothing wrong with resorting to this in the case of need, but it is absolutely essential to take all necessary precautions.
Majallat al-Majma’ (3/1/423).
We ask Allaah to bless the couple with righteous offspring with no need for such methods, and to enable them to bear this trial with patience.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A

Sin and its effects on the one who commits it

2011-04-08T09:39:00.001-07:00

Sin and its effects on the one who commits it
I did Hajj for myself, and a few months after Hajj I still had not seen any sign that my Hajj was accepted in the sense that I turned to worship more. On the contrary I committed a lot of sins. Last year I resolved to do Hajj on behalf of my mother who has passed away. I asked one of the shaykhs and he said that I should do Hajj on her behalf as I had intended, and I should pray a lot for forgiveness and beseech Allaah. So I did Hajj on behalf of my mother, traveling with one of the groups. During Tawaaf al-Wadaa’, the overcrowding was very severe, so we did one circuit (of Tawaaf) and part of another circuit, then we went up to the roof, because of the severe overcrowding. Because of the overcrowding we were not quite sure of the exact spot where we had stopped on the lower level, but we did our best to make sure that we started our Tawaaf on the roof from the place where we had stopped on the lower level, and we continued with our Tawaaf until it was completed.
After my last Hajj, if I committed any sin – and I did many of them – I felt some tightness and constriction in my chest, and if I did any act of worship or obedience I felt happy and full of sincere feelings towards Islam and its people at this time… I am worried about the two pilgrimages and about the Tawaaf. Please advise me, may Allaah reward you.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: we advise you to keep away from all sin, minor and major, and to beware of it and avoid it, for sin is bad news for the one who does it. We will quote here some of the effects of sin, as described by Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him):
1 – Being deprived of knowledge for knowledge is light that Allaah causes to reach the heart, and sin extinguishes that light. When al-Shaafa’i sat before Maalik and read to him, he admired him because of the intelligence, alertness and understanding that he saw in him. He said, “I think that Allaah has caused light to enter your heart, so do not extinguish it with the darkness of sin.”
2 – Being deprived of provision. In Musnad Ahmad it is narrated that Thawbaan said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘A man is deprived of provision because of the sins that he commits.’” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 4022, classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah).
3 – Sense of alienation that comes between a person and his Lord, and between him and other people. One of the salaf said: “If I disobey Allaah, I see that in the attitude of my riding beast and my wife.”
4 – Things become difficult for him, so that he does not turn his attention towards any matter but he finds the way blocked or he finds it difficult. By the same token, for the one who fears Allaah, things are made easy for him.
5 – The sinner will find darkness in his heart, which he will feel just as he feels the darkness of night. So this darkness affects his heart as the physical darkness affects his vision. For obedience is light and disobedience is darkness. The stronger the darkness grows, the greater becomes his confusion, until he falls into innovation, misguidance and other things that lead to doom, without even realizing, like a blind man who goes out in the darkness of the night, walking alone This darkness grows stronger until it covers the eyes, then it grows stronger until it covers the face, which appears dark and is seen by everyone. ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas said: “Good deeds make the face light, give light to the heart, and bring about ample provision, physical strength and love in people’s hearts. Bad deeds make the face dark, give darkness to the heart, and bring about physical weakness, a lack of provision and hatred in people’s hearts.”
6 – Deprivation of worship and obedience. If sin brought no punishment other than that it prevents a person from doing an act of worship which is the opposite of sin, and cuts off access to other acts of worship, that would be bad enough. So the sin cuts off a third way and a fourth way and so on, and because of the sin he is cut off from many acts of worship, each of which would have been better for him than this world and everything in it. So he is like a man who eats food that is bound to cause a lengthy sickness, and thus he is deprived of many other foods that are better than that. And Allaah is the One Whose help we seek.
7 – Sin breeds sin until it dominates a person and he cannot escape from it.
8 – Sin weakens a person’s willpower. It gradually strengthens his will to commit sin and weakens his will to repent until there is no will in his heart to repent at all… so he seeks forgiveness and expresses repentance, but it is merely words on the lips, like the repentance of the liars, whose hearts are still determined to commit sin and persist in it. This is one of the most serious diseases that are most likely to lead to doom.
9 – He will become desensitized and will no longer find sin abhorrent, so it will become his habit, and he will not be bothered if people see him committing the sin or talk about him.
For the leaders of immorality, this is the ultimate shamelessness in which they find great pleasure, such that they feel proud of their sin and will speak of it to people who do not know that they have done it, saying, “O so and so, I did such and such.” Such people cannot be helped and the path to repentance is blocked for them in most cases. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “All of my ummah will be fine except for those who commit sin openly, and that includes cases where Allaah conceals a person’s sin, but the following morning he exposes himself and says, ‘O So and so, I did such and such last night, so he shamelessly exposes himself when all night his Lord had concealed his sin.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5949; Muslim, 2744).
10 – When there are many sins they leave a mark on the heart of the person who commits them, so he becomes one of the negligent. As one of the salaf said, concerning the aayah –
“Nay! But on their hearts is the Raan (covering of sins and evil deeds) which they used to earn”
[al-Mutaffifeen 83:14 – interpretation of the meaning] –
this means sin after sin.
How this starts is that the heart gets stained by sin, and if the sin increases then the stain grows bigger until it becomes the raan (covering of sin and evil deeds), then it increases until it becomes a seal, and the heart becomes covered and sealed. If that happens after a person had been guided and had understood, then his heart is turned upside down, and at that point the Shaytaan gains control over him and directs him as he wants.
Secondly: you say that you did Hajj and did not see any signs of acceptance, rather you committed a lot of sins. The answer to this is that acceptance is from Allaah, and no one can be certain whether your deed has been accepted or not.
The believer does righteous deeds and does not know whether Allaah has accepted them or not.
Indeed, Ibn ‘Umar said: “If I knew that Allaah had accepted even one good deed from me, death would be the most dear thing to me, because Allaah says, ‘Verily, Allaah accepts only from those who are al-Muttaaqoon (the pious)’ [al-Maa’idah 5:27 – interpretation of the meaning].”
Man is required to do a great deal of righteous deeds, and to strive to make sure his actions are in accordance with the commands of Allaah and His Messenger. In this manner he will free himself from any blame, then he must ask Allaah to accept his deeds.
So if you did you Hajj properly and avoided everything that is forbidden during Hajj, then you do not have to repeat it. As for your falling into sin, that has nothing to do with the validity or otherwise of your Hajj, but you will be brought to account for it, so you must hasten to repent from it before your appointed time (of death) comes.
Thirdly: you say that you did Tawaaf then went up to the roof because of the overcrowding.
This is the issue of continuity in Tawaaf. The Standing Committee was asked a similar question and replied that there is nothing wrong with interrupting Tawaaf and completing it on a higher level (of the mosque). See Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 11/230, 231, 232.
With regard to the start of Tawaaf, it should begin in the same place where it ends. With regard to your efforts to figure out the place, if it is not possible to be certain then you should act according to what is most likely to be correct, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, concerning one who is uncertain as to whether he has prayed three rak’ahs or four, “Let him try his best (to work it out), then complete it on that basis – i.e., he should base it on what he thinks is the case – then let him say the salaams and do two prostrations after he says the salaams.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 401; Muslim, 572; see also al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 3/461).
Based on the above, then your completing your tawaaf on the roof and your striving to start from the place from which you interrupted your tawaaf are both fine in sha Allah.
And Allaah knows best.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
@ Islam QA

The pleasures of this world

2011-04-08T09:38:00.001-07:00

Is the principle of pleasure forbidden in Islam? What is the view of Islam concerning physical pleasure, because the religion is a bunch of hard and strict duties.

Praise be to Allaah.
The pleasures of this world are of three types.
Pleasures which will be followed by a greater pain, or which make a person miss out on a greater pleasure. These are the pleasures enjoyed by sinners and negligent people to varying degrees, such as those who enjoy zina (illegal sexual conduct), drinking wine, stealing, and so on. It will be said to them on the Day of Resurrection (interpretation of the meaning):
“You received your good things in the life of the world, and you took your pleasure therein…” [al-Ahqaaf 46:20]
Pleasures which will not be punished in the Hereafter, but overindulgence causes a person to miss out on achieving higher levels and keeps him from earning reward. These are the permissible pleasures of those who are negligent, which they do not do in order to better themselves or to earn reward, and they have no intention of worship when they do these things. Examples include going to extremes in matters of food, drink, transportation, accommodation, travelling and going on vacation, and other things that are not inherently harmful or sinful.
Pleasures for which a person will be rewarded. These pleasures belong exclusively to the believers who let themselves enjoy them on the grounds of doing their duty towards themselves, seeking help thereby to obey Allaah, and helping to keep themselves away from sin.
On the basis of these noble aims, these pleasures may be classified as acts of obedience towards Allaah, concerning which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah will be pleased with a slave who eats some food then praises Allaah for it, and drinks some drink then praises Allaah for it.” (Reported by Muslim, 2734, from the hadeeth of Anas). He also said. “In your intercourse with your wife, there is reward.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, can anyone of us have sexual enjoyment and be rewarded for that?” He said, “Do you not see that if you do that in a haraam manner, you will be punished for it? So if you do it in a halaal manner, you will be rewarded.” (As in the hadeeth of Abu Dharr, reported by Muslim, 1006).
It is clear from the hadeeth that enjoying these worldly pleasures on the basis of praising Allaah, recognizing His bounty and seeking to protect oneself from doing forbidden things will bring reward from Allaah. Praise be to Allaah for His blessings. (See Majmoo’ al-Fawaa’id by Ibn Sa’di, p. 234). Thus we know that in Islam there are permissible pleasures, having to do with eating and drinking permissible foods and enjoying permissible kinds of clothing and means of transportation, and there are pleasures for which a person will be rewarded in the Hereafter, in addition to his enjoyment of them in this world, such as the one who eats with the intention of gaining the strength to obey Allaah, or who sleeps with the intention of helping himself to get up to pray Qiyaam al-Layl and Fajr, or the one who has intercourse with his wife with the intention of keeping himself and her chaste, keeping them both away from sin, and with the hope of having a child, or the one who works hard at his trade or job with the intention of spending on himself and his family and his parents, and so on. And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Love Her ...

2011-04-08T09:36:00.000-07:00

Love Her ...when she sips on your coffee or tea. She only wants to make sure it tastes just right for you.
Love Her...when she is jealous. Out of all the men she can have, she chose you.
Love her...when she has annoying little habits that drives you nuts. You have them too.
Love her...when her cooking is bad. She tries.
Love her...when she looks scary in the morning. She always fixes herself up again.
Love her...when she makes you watch corny love dramas while the sport is on. She wants to share these moments with you.
Love her...when she asks if she looks fat. Your opinion counts, so tell her she's beautiful.
Love her...when she looks beautiful. She's yours so appreciate her.
Love her...when she spends hours to get ready. She only wants to look her best for you.
Love her...when she buys you gifts you don't like. Smile and tell her its what you've always wanted.
Love her...when she cries for absolutely nothing. Don't ask, tell her its going to be okay .
Love her...when she suffers from PMS. Buy chocolate, rub her feet and just chat to her (trust me this works!).
Love her...when whatever you do is not pleasing. It happens and will pass.
Love her...when she stains your clothes. You needed a new shirt anyway.
Love her...when she argues. She only wants to make things right.
All these things form part of a woman's character.
Woman are part of your life and should be treated as the queen.
Take time to make her feel special in every way.

Carry Me In Your Arms

2011-03-23T14:23:00.000-07:00

Carry Me In Your Arms

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, “I have got something to tell you.” She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to say it. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, “why?” I avoided her question. This made her angry. She shouted at me, “ You are not a man.”

That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I new she wanted to find out what had happened in our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer. I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Deanna. I didn’t love her anymore I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own the house, 30% shares in my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it to pieces. The women who spent 10 years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said, for I loved Deanna dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me, her cry was a kind of release. The idea of divorce which for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went to sleep and fell fast asleep because I was tired after an eventful day with Deanna. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just didn’t care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions, she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a months notice before the divorce. She requested that in that 1 month, we both struggle to live as normal as possible. Her reasons where simple, our son was had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy.

Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Deanna about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she has, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, “Daddy is holding mummy in his arms.” His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked with her over 10 meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, “don’t tell our son about the divorce.” I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus for work. I drove alone to the office.

On the 2nd day both of us acted more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this women carefully in along time. I realized she was not young anymore. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done for her.

On the 4th day, I had lifted her up; I felt the sense of intimacy returning. This was the women who had given 10 years of her life to me. On the 5th and 6th day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Deanna about this! It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, “all my dresses have grown bigger.” I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me……. She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Sub-consciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at that moment and said “Daddy, its time to carry mummy out.” To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, “I hadn’t notice that our life lacked intimacy.” I drove to office….. Jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…. I walked upstairs. Deanna opened the door and I said to her, “sorry, Deanna I do not want the divorce anymore.”
She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. “Do you have fever?” she asked. I moved her hand off my head. I said “sorry, Deanna I won’t divorce, my marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until one of us departs this world.”

Deanna seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of the flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me, what to write on the card.
I smiled and wrote “ I’LL CARRY YOU OUT EVERY MORNING UNTIL WE ARE OLD.”

Moral: The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It’s not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance or the passport that matters. These create an environment conductive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and to do those little things for each other that build a relationship.

@ Islamgeatreligon.wordpress

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Up to what age can a baby stay well nourished by just being breastfed? VERY IMPORTANT AND TRUE INFORMATION FOR KIDS HEALTHY

2011-01-14T10:01:00.001-08:00

Up to what age can a baby stay well nourished by just being breastfed?

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From WHO | World Health Organization

http://www.who.int/features/qa/21/en/index.html

Up to what age can a baby stay well nourished by just being breastfed?

Ask an expert

Q: Up to what age can a baby stay well nourished by just being breastfed?

A: Infants should be exclusively breastfed – i.e. receive only breast milk – for the first six months of life to achieve optimal growth, development and health. "Exclusive breastfeeding" is defined as giving no other food or drink – not even water – except breast milk. It does, however, allow the infant to receive drops and syrups (vitamins, minerals and medicines). Breast milk is the ideal food for the healthy growth and development of infants; breastfeeding is also an integral part of the reproductive process with important implications for the health of mothers.

WHO recommends that infants start receiving complementary foods at six months (180 days) of age in addition to breast milk. Complementary foods should be given 2–3 times a day between 6–8 months, increasing to 3–4 times a day between 9–11 months. Between 12–23 months of age, 3–4 meals should be given. In addition, depending on the child's appetite, 1–2 nutritious snacks can be offered between meals. These foods should be adequate, meaning that they provide sufficient energy, protein and micronutrients to meet a growing child's nutritional needs. Foods should be prepared and given in a safe manner to minimize the risk of contamination. Feeding young infants requires active care and stimulation to encourage the child to eat.

The transition from exclusive breastfeeding to full use of family foods is a very vulnerable period. It is the time when many infants become malnourished, contributing significantly to the high prevalence of malnutrition in children under five years of age worldwide. It is essential therefore that infants receive appropriate, adequate and safe complementary foods to ensure the right transition from the breastfeeding period to the full use of family foods.

FOR MORE INFORMATION SEE http://www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/en/index.html

Breastfeeding is the normal way of providing young infants with the nutrients they need for healthy growth and development. Virtually all mothers can breastfeed, provided they have accurate information, and the support of their family, the health care system and society at large.

Colostrum, the yellowish, sticky breast milk produced at the end of pregnancy, is recommended by WHO as the perfect food for the newborn, and feeding should be initiated within the first hour after birth.

Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond.

10 facts on breastfeeding

2011-01-14T10:01:00.000-08:00

10 facts on breastfeeding

Lets share with everyone! :)

From http://www.who.int/features/factfiles/breastfeeding/en/index.html

WHO | World Health Organization

1. WHO recommends
WHO strongly recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life. At six months, other foods should complement breastfeeding for up to two years or more. In addition:

breastfeeding should begin within an hour of birth;
breastfeeding should be "on demand", as often as the child wants day and night; and
bottles or pacifiers should be avoided.

2.Health benefits for infants
Breast milk is the ideal food for newborns and infants. It gives infants all the nutrients they need for healthy development. It is safe and contains antibodies that help protect infants from common childhood illnesses - such as diarrhoea and pneumonia, the two primary causes of child mortality worldwide. Breast milk is readily available and affordable, which helps to ensure that infants get adequate sustenance.

3.Benefits for mothers
Breastfeeding also benefits mothers. The practice when done exclusively often induces a lack of menstruation, which is a natural (though not fail-safe) method of birth control. It reduces risks of breast and ovarian cancer later in life, helps women return to their pre-pregnancy weight faster, and lowers rates of obesity.

4.Long-term benefits for children
Beyond the immediate benefits for children, breastfeeding contributes to a lifetime of good health. Adults who were breastfed as babies often have lower blood pressure and lower cholesterol, as well as lower rates of overweight, obesity and type-2 diabetes. There is evidence that people who were breastfed perform better in intelligence tests.

5.Why not infant formula?
Infant formula does not contain the antibodies found in breast milk and is linked to some risks, such as water-borne diseases that arise from mixing powdered formula with unsafe water (many families lack access to clean water). Malnutrition can result from over-diluting formula to "stretch" supplies. Further, frequent feedings maintain the breast milk supply. If formula is used but becomes unavailable, a return to breastfeeding may not be an option due to diminished breast milk production.

6.HIV and breastfeeding
For HIV-positive mothers, WHO recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months unless replacement feeding is:

acceptable (socially welcome)
feasible (facilities and help are available to prepare formula)
affordable (formula can be purchased for six months)
sustainable (feeding can be sustained for six months)
safe (formula is prepared with safe water and in hygienic conditions).

7.Regulating breast-milk substitutes
An international code to regulate the marketing of breast-milk substitutes was adopted in 1981. It calls for:

all formula labels and information to state the benefits of breastfeeding and the health risks of substitutes;
no promotion of breast-milk substitutes;
no free samples of substitutes to be given to pregnant women, mothers or their families; and
no distribution of free or subsidized substitutes to health workers or facilities.

8.Support for mothers is essential
Breastfeeding has to be learned and many women encounter difficulties at the beginning. Nipple pain, and fear that there is not enough milk to sustain the baby are common. Health facilities that support breastfeeding - by making trained breastfeeding counsellors available to new mothers - encourage higher rates of the practice. To provide this support and improve care for mothers and newborns, there are now more than 20 000 "baby-friendly" facilities in 152 countries thanks to a WHO-UNICEF initiative.

9.Work and breastfeeding
WHO recommends that a new mother should have at least 16 weeks of absence from work after delivery, to be able to rest and breastfeed her child. Many mothers who go back to work abandon exclusive breastfeeding before the recommended six months because they do not have sufficient time, or an adequate place to breastfeed or express and store their milk at work. Mothers need access to a safe, clean and private place in or near their workplaces to continue the practice.

10.The next step: phasing in new foods
To meet the growing needs of babies at six months of age, complementary foods should be introduced as they continue to breastfeed. Foods for the baby can be specially prepared or modified from family meals. WHO notes that:

breastfeeding should not be decreased when starting complementary feeding;
complementary foods should be given with a spoon or cup, not in a bottle;
foods should be clean, safe and locally available; and
ample time is needed for young children to learn to eat solid foods.

The Places Where You Can Find The United Muslimahs

2011-01-12T13:11:00.000-08:00

It doesnt matter if you are a muslim or not, if you are a girl interested on Islam you gona find much information there and amazing people.

Welcome!

The forum page: http://theunitedmuslimahs.smfforfree3.com/index.php

Blog: http://theunitedmuslimahs.blogspot.com/

Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/unitedmuslimahs

Hi5 group: http://www.hi5.com/friend/group/3233960--United%2BMuslimahs--front-html

Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-united-muslimahs/126595267391959?v=wall#!/pages/The-united-muslimahs/126595267391959?v=wall

Facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=9163663873

Allah's message to you

2010-05-28T10:56:00.000-07:00

Allah's message to you

Allah (SWT) says: "If you never felt pain, how would you know I'm a Healer?
If u never made a mistake, how would you know I'm Forgiving?
If you were never hurt, how would you know I can comfort you?
If you never shed a tear, how would you know I built a support system for you?
If you never fell, how would you know I could raise you that high ?
If you were never wanting, how would you know that I will provide for you?
If your life was perfect, then why would you need Me?

I gave you life, I will take care of you.
In you you have part of me, take good care of It.
I surrounded you with many of My Creation, surround them with thoughts of Me.
I provided vast spaces for you to operate in, respect it, protect it and nurture what grows and grazes in it.

You are special, so special to Me,
Be special to yourself and you will be special to others as well.

Thanks sis Fozea for this msg!

A successful marriage: the missing link

2010-05-28T10:53:00.000-07:00

A successful marriage: the missing link

By: Yasmin Mogahed

“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between you; verily, in that are signs for people who reflect.” (Quran 30:21)

We’ve all read this verse on countless marriage announcements. But how many have actualized it? How many of our marriages really embody that love and mercy described by Allah? What is going wrong when so many of our marriages are ending in divorce?

According to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, author of Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs, the answer is simple. In his book, Eggerichs explains that extensive research has found that a man’s primary need is for respect, while a woman’s primary need is for love. He describes what he calls the “crazy cycle”—the pattern of argumentation that results when the wife does not show respect and the husband does not show love. He explains how the two reinforce and cause one another. In other words, when a wife feels that her husband is acting unloving, she often reacts with disrespect, which in turn makes the husband act even more unloving.

Eggerichs argues that the solution to the “crazy cycle” is for the wife to show unconditional respect to her husband and for the husband to show unconditional love to his wife. This means that a wife should not say that first her husband must be loving before she will show him respect. By doing so, she will only bring about more unloving behavior. And a husband should not say that first his wife must be respectful before he will show her love. By doing so, he will only bring about more disrespectful behavior. The two must be unconditional.

When I reflected on this concept, I realized that looking at the Quran and prophetic wisdom, there are no two concepts more stressed with regards to the marital relationship.

To men, the Prophet said, “Take good care of women, for they were created from a bent rib, and the most curved part of it is its top; if you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, it will remain arched, so take good care of women.” (Bukhari & Muslim)

He has further stressed: “The most perfect believer in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.” (Al-Tirmidhi)

Allah says: “Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.” [Qur'an: 4:19]

The prophet has also said, “A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” (Muslim)

In these jewels of wisdom, men are urged to be kind and loving towards their wives. Moreover, they are urged to even overlook their wife’s faults when showing that kindness and love.

On the other hand, when addressing the wife, the focus is different. Why are women not told again and again to be kind and loving towards their husbands? Perhaps it is because unconditional love already comes naturally to women. Few men complain that their wives do not love them. But many complain that their wives do not respect them. And it is this sentiment which is most stressed in the Quran and sunnah, with regards to wives.

Respect can be manifest in a number of ways. One of the most important ways to show respect is the respect of one’s wishes. When someone says, “I respect your advice”, they mean “I will follow your advice”. Respecting a leader, means doing what they say. Respecting our parents means not going against their wishes. And respecting one’s husband means respecting his wishes. The Prophet has said: “When any woman prays her five, fasts her month, guards her body and obeys her husband, it is said to her: Enter paradise from whichever of its doors you wish.” [At-Tirmidhi]

Why are we as women told to respect and follow the wishes of our husbands? It is because men are given an extra degree of responsibility. Allah says: “Men are the protectors and maintainers [qawwamun] of women, because Allah has given the one more [strength] than the other, and because they support them from their means . . .” (Qur’an 4:34)

But won’t this unconditional respect towards one’s husband put us, as women, in a weak, submissive position? Won’t we set ourselves up to be taken advantage of and abused? Quite the contrary. The Quran, the prophetic example, and even contemporary research have proven the exact opposite. The more respect a woman shows her husband, the more love and kindness he will show her. And in fact, the more disrespect she shows, the more harsh and unloving he becomes.

Similarly, a man may question why he should show kindness and love towards even a disrespectful wife. To answer this question, one only needs to look at the example of Omar Ibn ul-Khattab. When a man came to Omar (who was Khalifah at the time) to complain of his wife, he heard Omar’s own wife yelling at him. While the man turned to leave, Omar called him back. The man told Omar that he had come to complain of the same problem that Omar himself had. To this Omar replied that his wife tolerated him, washed his clothes, cleaned his home, made him comfortable, and took care of his children. If she did all of this for him, how could he not tolerate her when she raised her voice?

This story provides a beautiful example for all of us—not only for the men. This story is a priceless illustration of tolerance and patience, which is essential for any successful marriage. Moreover, consider the reward in the hereafter for those who show patience: Allah says, “Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full without reckoning (or measure).” (Qur’an 39:10)

A successful marriage: the missing link

The first two years: a marriage survival guide

2010-05-28T10:51:00.000-07:00

The first two years: a marriage survival guide

by Sound Vision Staff Writer

More Muslim marriages in North America are breaking up in their first year than ever before, according to Shahina Siddiqui, executive director of the Islamic Social Services Association of the United States and Canada (ISSA).

The first five to seven years are the most challenging of any marriage. They are a time a couple spends getting to know each other better and adjusting to each other's habits and personalities.

Below are some of the main problems couples face in the early years and some possible solutions.

1. Lack of proper information before marriage

A number of problems are caused simply by the fact that the couple and their families have not discussed crucial issues beforehand. Some of these include:

whether or not the wife will work outside the home
will the couple wait to have children
which city and country the couple will live in after marriage
will they live with his parents or have their own apartment

These and other relevant issues need to be discussed and decided in the beginning stages of the marriage process.

2. Who's in charge?

One of the biggest problems is the tug-of-war between couples over who is in control in the relationship. This has led to a stalemate in disagreements, as well as bitter feelings.

Many couples today are refusing to compromise within moderation when differences arise.

While from an Islamic perspective, the husband is given the leadership role in the marriage relationship, this does not mean he runs the couple's family life like a dictatorship.

It must be remembered that Islamically, a leader is one who serves, manages, provides and nourishes. A leader must also have humbleness and humility.

A husband exercises the right kind of leadership by being listening to and consulting (doing Shura) with his wife.

Also, a husband is bound to follow the rules of the Quran and Sunnah. So differences in opinion should be referred back to these sources, instead of becoming a source of tension and problems.

3. The divorce option

Once upon a time, "divorce" was the seven-letter word most Muslim couples avoided using. Today, amongst many Muslim couples in North America, it is one of the first recourses turned to when conflicts occur in marriage.

It should be remembered that out of all of the things Allah has made Halal, divorce is the one He hates the most. Couples need to look at several other alternatives before turning to this drastic measure.

They should seek the help of older, wiser and trustworthy elders who will try to help them resolve their differences. Generally, they need to make a sincere, concerted effort to try to work things out before divorce is seriously considered.

4. Sexual problems

It is unrealistic to expect the issue of sex and sex-related problems to mysteriously disappear once a couple gets married.

In the sex-saturated culture of North America, couples tend to place very high expectations of each other in this area. They also expect instant results.

In reality, it takes time, commitment, disappointment and investment to establish a sexual relationship in marriage which is in tune with the needs of each partner.

It's important for Muslim couples to walk into marriage with proper information about sex and sexual etiquette from an Islamic perspective. They need to know what is Halal (permissible) and what is Haram (forbidden). They should also keep in mind that spouses must never discuss their sexual relationship with others, unless it is to get help for a specific problem with the right person or authority figure.

On a similar note, it's important for both the husband and wife to remember that they need to make themselves physically attractive to each other. Too many couples take marriage to mean an excuse to now let themselves go. The couple or one of the partners may gain too much weight, or may not care about hygiene and their looks in general. The reverse should be true: spouses should take the time out for these things and give them even more attention after marriage. Our beloved Prophet has recommended husband and wife both to do that, May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him.

5. In-laws

The first few years of marriage are not just a period of adjustment for the married couple. It's one of getting used to in-laws and vice-versa.

Husbands, wives and in-laws need to practice the Islamic rules of social relations with each other. These include: avoiding sarcasm, backbiting, calling each other by offensive nicknames, and making a special effort to respect each other as family members.

As well, comparisons need to be avoided, since every individual and every couple is different. So wives should not be compared to mothers and sisters. Husbands should not be compared to fathers and brothers. In-laws should not be compared to parents, etc.

In addition, there should be regular, healthy contact between spouses and in-laws. This can mean visiting each other at least once or twice a month, or calling if distance makes it difficult to get together.

6. Realism

Boy meets girl. They fall in love. They live happily ever after.

This is the plot of many a Hollywood and Bollywood movie, where everyone is "perfect". Real life is very different.

Couples may enter marriage with high-flying romantic ideas and expecting their partner to be the ideal human. But all humans have good and bad points. Husbands and wives have to learn to accept each other, warts and all.

6. Making a schedule and establishing rituals

Making a schedule may seem like an end to spontaneity but it's not.

This allows you to establish your own lifestyle and rituals as a couple. It's especially important if both the husband and wife are going to school and/or working. In this scenario, a schedule helps in setting time aside for each other during a fast-paced week of work and studies.

Some rituals couples can establish may include:

praying at least one prayer together
attending a study circle together once a week
deciding on a weekly menu
having a pancake breakfast every Saturday morning
setting aside one day on which no work or studying will be done
setting a day when both the husband and wife will clean up the house
setting a time to discuss finances and a budget
making a phone contacting during the day
deciding on a particular day and time once a month at least to visit each other's parents

By discussing and setting up these rituals, couples learn how to talk to and feel responsible for each other. They also learn to become a team instead of two people living in the same with separate lives.

7. Marriage as a restriction

Muslim men who have grown up in North America may find marriage restricting. After all, before, they could hang out with their buddies and get home by 11:00 p.m. and no one would say a word. After marriage though, they have to be home by 7:00 p.m if not earlier.

While marriage comes with responsibilities and a tighter schedule, the benefits are also there. It takes time and patience to realize that in the end the benefits (i.e. a life partner, kids, etc.) are greater than the restrictions.

8. Friends and Islamic activities

Friends are a joy and a good friend is someone you want to be close to for the rest of your life.

But friends are often the source of many marriage conflicts. Too much time spent with friends, either hanging out or on the phone, means time lost with a husband/wife.

Also, friends, especially if they are of the same age group, may give the wrong advice on marriage, due to their own inexperience in the area.

Some possible solutions to the friends dilemma could be:

working out a "friends time" at least once a week where the husband and the wife meet and/or talk with friends privately
developing friendships with other married couples so spouses can befriend spouses
Islamic activities fall in a similar category. Young Muslim activists may think they can keep attending those three-hour Muslim Students' Association meetings as they did before marriage. Not so.

Too much focus on outside Islamic activities takes away from spouse time. Give Islamic activities their due but within a balance of everyone's rights, including those of your spouse.

9. Not keeping secrets

A number of young married couples are notorious for not keeping secrets, especially related to sexual matters, and exposing their spouse's faults. This is not only unacceptable. It's unIslamic.

Couples should seek to hide each other's faults. They should seek advice on marriage problems from a "marriage mentor", someone who is older, wiser, trustworthy and has the best interests of both parties at heart.

10. Finances

How much should be spent on furniture, the house, food, etc. These are staple issues of any household and can lead to a tug-of-war between husband and wife.

To keep spending in check, husbands and wives need to draft a budget then stick to it. The household will run more efficiently and that's one less source of conflict in the marriage.

A special note to husbands: in the beginning of marriage, husbands tend to shower their wives with gifts. They do this as an expression of love and because they want to provide for their wives. However, as time passes and they keep giving, they go into debt or experience financial difficulty. As well, wives get used to a certain level of comfort which husbands can no longer afford.

Providing for a wife (and later on, a family) is not just reserved to material things. It includes spending time with her, and treating her with equity and kindness. In fact, most wives would prefer this kind of provision over expensive gifts.

11. Give each other space
A number of couples think being married means always being together and serving each other hand and foot.

Wives may initially take over all household chores, not letting the husband help or even do his own things (i.e. ironing his own clothes). They later regret this as household responsibilities increase and their husbands become dependent on them for the smallest things.

Husbands may think getting married means being with their wives all the time. This later may lead them to becoming irritable and cranky.

The key is to focus on being caring, fond of and accepting each other and giving each other sufficient space. Doing this provides a necessary balance in a relationship which is so close physically and emotionally.

The first two years: a marriage survival guide

Preparing Muslims for Marriage

2010-05-28T10:49:00.000-07:00

Preparing Muslims for Marriage

by Aneesah Nadir

Marital problems among Muslims in America are of increasing concern.

Issues like divorce and domestic violence are taking their toll on Muslim families throughout America. Imams, Muslim Social Workers, helping professionals and volunteers are concerned about the consequences of these problems on the very foundation of our community, the family.

Even though Muslims in America experience a unique set of circumstances and are diverse in their culture, and road to Islam, the Quran and the Sunnah have the methodology for preventing and resolving the problems that we face.

Rationale

Why discuss Muslim marriages, their associated problems and prevention strategies?

The short answer is that divorce and marital discord are reaching epidemic proportions both in and out the Islamic community. Ibn Umar reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Of all the lawful things, divorce is the most detestable thing in the sight of Allah (Abu Dawud).

The foundation of Islamic society is crumbling. Shahina Siddiqui of the Islamic Social Services Association in a personal interview (1997) indicated that over 60 percent of new marriages end in divorce within the first year.

In the same interview she also stated that one community reported that out nineteen new marriages ten ended in divorce within the first year while another community reported that five out of nine marriages ended in divorce within the first year.

Marriages among Muslims in America are in trouble. Sister Shahina further asserts, "this is symptomatic of a much larger problem. The growing lack of value for elders and respect for their advice is a significant problem. Muslim youth are turning to their non-Muslim peers for advice and validation rather than to their Muslim elders".

Years as a professional social worker have led me to conclude that part of the problem is a lack of Islamic education and spiritual development.

Many Muslim couples enter into marriage each with their own set of baggage and often lack the personal relationship with Allah that will help them to be successful as a married couple.

On the one hand, the American Muslim community has been affected by the "Burger King Syndrome" that plagues North America as a whole: American society's message is, "you can have it your way". Individuals entering into marriage are bent on getting what they want while neither practicing forbearance and patience, nor committing themselves to one another for the sake of Allah.

On the other hand, many have subconsciously adopted the Christian doctrines of self-sacrifice and "turn the other cheek" at the expense of the emotional and physical health of one or both spouses. This is demonstrated in marriages where all signs of marital harmony have been eliminated and a dysfunctional family unit remains, unaware that this not the Islamic way.

Muslims must find a way to stem the tide of the epidemic of divorce and marital discord in order to preserve a healthy future for the Muslim community in America. We must go beyond our current state of denial to recognize that, while Muslims are not immune to marital problems, many of the problems we face can be prevented by learning and implementing the teachings of Islam. No community can survive and fulfill the responsibility of raising healthy children when marriage after marriage totally break down.

The Healthy Muslim Marriage

The Quran says: "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts)..." (30:21)

"They (your wives) are as a garment to you, and you are as a garment to them." (2:187)

"He it is Who created you from a single soul, and of the same did He make his spouse, that he might find comfort in her."(7:189).

Khurshid Ahmad writes in his book, Family Life in Islam, "the relationship between husband and wife is a spiritual relationship and sustains and generates love, kindness, mercy, compassion, mutual confidence, self-sacrifice, solace and succor."

In Islam the healthy marriage begins with a strong practice of Islamic tradition and spousal selection based on the Quran and Sunnah.

Muslims can choose a spouse for many reasons but piety is considered the best reason. Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger as saying, A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, ..."(Muslim).

If a spouse is chosen merely for his or her attractiveness or socioeconomic status, the likelihood is that those attributes will be the sum total of the marriage.

A healthy marriage is based on strong Iman (faith) and strong Taqwa (fear of Allah). Because the couple unites for the sake and love of Allah, they are able to make decisions and resolve problems upon based this commitment.

Fikr (reflection) and Dhikr (remembrance) of Allah are a regular part of the marriage. The couple keeps their obligations to Allah and remembers Him often, even in their most intimate affairs. They reflect on what He has given them and on ways to improve their relationship with Him and thus with each other.

The couple not only strives in the cause of Allah but are also knowledgeable of their own and each other's rights, roles and responsibilities. The spouses honor and ensure that each other's rights are fulfilled and they work together to develop a strong Islamic personality.

Both have realistic expectations of each other and of the marriage, and they practice good communication skills, engage in mutual consultation, and are calm and even-tempered. Honesty, trustworthiness, humility and a willingness to cooperate and compromise help to build a strong relationship.

Additionally reliance on the Quran and Sunnah for decision-making are essential.

Problems Couples Experience

A comprehensive Islamic social service system that includes prevention education and support, early intervention and treatment is greatly needed by the American Muslim Community.

Given this, it is important to explore some of the problems Muslim couples are experiencing in marriage:

Religious incompatibility

Problems in this realm may occur because the husband is Muslim and the wife is not and does not support an Islamic family life.

It may also mean that the husband and wife are Muslim but one is more observant in the practice of the faith while the other may be described as Muslim but not religious.

The husband may not want the wife to wear Hijab despite her desire to do so. When a disagreement arises, one spouse wants to refer to Quran and Sunnah for the answer while the other ignores these primary sources of guidance to the preference of cultural traditions as the basis for decision-making.

It is essential that Muslims determine the importance of Islam in their lives prior to marriage. Each individual's level of religiosity will affect decision making, problem solving, daily practices and fulfillment of religious obligations.

Financial problems

These often result when the husband is either unemployed or underemployed or the couple has poor money management and budgeting skills.

When the husband is either unemployed or underemployed the family is likely to experience significant stress. The wife may take a job or the family may obtain Zakat or governmental welfare assistance to make ends meet.

When the wife enters the workforce under these conditions the additional stress of childcare and fulfilling homemaking duties become a concern.

Also the high potential for employment discrimination experienced by Muhajabas (Muslim women who wear the traditional Islamic dress and headscarf) add to the family's stress. The husband's self- esteem is severely affected in such circumstances because he is unable to fulfill one of his primary Islamic obligations.

As the couple prepares for marriage the future husband's current and potential ability to financially support a family has to be discussed.

Additional consideration must be given to the issue of whether or not the wife will work at various points in the marriage and the consequences thereof. Premarital discussions and/or money management training can provide the skills necessary to develop a fiscally responsible home.

Cultural Diversity In Marriage

The Muslim community in the United States includes Muslims from all around the world. Some are immigrants. Others are refugees. Still others are indigenous to North America and have converted to Islam.

On one end of the continuum securing a spouse of the same culture has become more of a priority than piety in a potential mate, blinding parents seeking suitable matches for their children.

On the other end of the continuum, the main goal is simply to marry an American thus losing sight of the importance of piety.

While marriage to someone of the same culture should not be the primary criteria for marriage, cross-cultural marriages seem to be at risk for marital discord. Frequently, the couple finds it very difficult to accept and adjust to each other's cultural norms and traditions. When Islam is not the primary guide in their lives and each one operates from a cultural base unfamiliar to the other communication problems, parenting problems and emotional and/or physical abuse often arise out of the frustration.

One couple reported to the author that they required eight hours to discuss a matter that takes couples of the same culture an hour to discuss. The couple went on to say that arguments often developed because of cultural misunderstandings, lack of patience and lack of a mutual commitment to place Islam first and foremost in their affairs.

Cross-cultural marriage seems to work best when both spouses commit to make Islam according to Quran and Sunnah a priority. In issues not having to do with worship, both have to be tolerant and willing to compromise.

In the premarital stage these matters must be discussed. The couple has to agree to resolve problems based on Quran and Sunnah. Preparation for marriage should include stringent study of the Quran and the Sunnah, particularly with regard to family life, the development of an Islamically-based family personality and the building of communication skills.

In the early stage of the marriage opportunities for arbitration, mediation or counseling should be available to the couple on an as needed basis.

Unresolved legal issues

These issues, which can and have pulled couples apart, may relate to one spouse's immigration status or prior incarceration, unsettled financial judgments or familial problems.

Unfortunately, in the zeal to come to the US or to change immigration status, inaccurate or incomplete information may have been provided.

In other cases the immigrant spouse may have become involved with illegal activities which placed him or her at risk of deportation. Although these activities may have occurred in the individual's early days in America they may play havoc on the marriage.

In one case the entire family was uprooted because of the head of the household was deported. The stress of the ordeal placed the marriage in severe jeopardy.

Acceptance of Islam may have occurred during incarceration. Unfortunately few programs exist that are designed to assist in the transition to life outside the penal institution. Despite an individual's sincere practice of Islam, parole and probation issues continue to loom on the horizon of life on the outside; said issues often disrupt the couple's life and their ability to start anew.

It is important to be aware of and discuss unresolved legal issues prior to marriage. When unresolved legal matters are included in the premarital discussions potential spouses and their guardians can identify the risks and prepare for the challenges associated therewith. Each potential spouse can then determine whether or not they are suited for the impending marriage.

Domestic Violence

As difficult as is it is to acknowledge it, Muslim families experience domestic violence.

Some of the factors associated with domestic violence include: a controlling personality or other personality disorder, financial stress, misunderstanding and use of verses of the Quran to justify maltreatment, lack of knowledge of the Sunnah with regards to anger management and treatment of women, poor impulse control, immaturity, mental illness, the effects of racism and oppression against Muslims, ethnic minorities and foreigners and a history of domestic violence in the family of origin.

While there are a variety of causal factors the bottom line is that Islam does not condone the abuse and maltreatment of women. Muslim women forced to leave their home without a means of support in search of safety from an oppressive spouse are legacies the Muslim community can not afford.

In addition to this, domestic violence has been proven to produce a cycle of violence in the next generation. As Muslim children watch their fathers abuse their mothers they internalize that behavior and are likely to repeat it.

One strategy to prevent domestic abuse is to mandate a thorough discussion of the potential spouse's temperament, problem solving and conflict resolution skills during premarital counseling. Of particular import is an exploration of his or her parents' relationship and whether domestic violence was present in their home. At a minimum each party has to be asked whether he or she has been raised with domestic abuse at home or whether or not they have experienced domestic abuse in their life.

Differences in parenting style

Lack of parenting skills, significant differences in parenting styles, lack of knowledge of the examples of healthy, effective parenting from the Sunnah, the stress of adjusting to life with a new baby, or as a stepparent can lead to discord in the marriage.

Good marriage preparation affords the couple an opportunity to learn about their obligations as parents based on examples in the Quran and Sunnah.

Further, a discussion to examine expectations of proper care of children, how each potential spouse was reared, methods of discipline, and the general challenges that come with all phases of childhood, will produce strong parents, firmly anchored in the Islamic model of familial relationships.

Intimacy and sexual fulfillment

Problems related to an unsatisfactory or absent physical relationship tend to occur because no one has spoken with the young man or woman about these matters prior to marriage. Often, the prospective couple is unaware about the physical makeup of the human body or is unaware of the Islamic responsibility and right to intimate fulfillment by both parties. Inability to communicate seems to exacerbate the problem unless professional intervention is obtained.

Marriage preparation education will educate potential spouses of their rights and responsibilities with regard to sexual fulfillment. It would also provide an opportunity to learn some basics of the human anatomy as well as the traditions of Prophet Muhammad with regard to marital intimacy. The role of good communication skills in sexual fulfillment would also be a part of premarital education.

Illness

Marriage frequently brings together individuals who have physical and mental health problems. In most cases, these matters are not discussed prior to marriage thereby impeding the couple's ability to weather a chronic condition like asthma, diabetes, hypertension or a catastrophic event such as injury due to accident or major illness.

Whether a spouse suffers from a physical condition or chronic mental illness, premarital conversation concerning the nature of the disorder, medications used and effective reaction to episodic flare-ups must be engaged in order to prepare the couple for inherent challenges of living with and caring for a sick spouse.

History of marriage preparation programs in mainstream America

Formal marital education was first instituted in the early 1930s when the Merrill-Palmer Institute established a premarital educational program (Rutledge, 1968).

One of the earliest premarital counseling programs, established at the Philadelphia Marriage Council (Mudd, Freeman, and Rose, 1941), was designed to provide education and information about married life to couples contemplating marriage and to help prospective spouses work out interpersonal difficulties they might be encountering.

Historically premarital counseling has been provided in churches by trained pastors and ministers, laypersons or by mental health providers. Clinebell (1984) has argued that in most cases what has been ordinarily described as premarital counseling actually is not counseling in the sense of treatment and addressing problems but rather it is more personalized training or "psycho educational counseling".

The Catholic dioceses requires premarital counseling before a couple may be married by a priest.(Lamanna and Reidmann, 1991) The Superior Court of Los Angeles County, along with courts in many other counties, mandated premarital counseling as a prerequisite for obtaining a marriage license by minors. (Wright, 1981).

The newest approaches to educating for marriage are marital enrichment programs (Stahmann and Salts, 1993). These programs emerged around the early 1960s, and many were connected to religious institutions (e.g., the Roman Catholic Marriage Encounter program, first established in Spain by Father Gabriel Calvo; the marriage enrichment retreat for Quakers led by David and Vera Mace; the United Methodist Church leadership training programs for couples, developed by Leon and Antoinette Smith; see Mace & Mace, 1986).

Several secular programs for marriage enrichment have also been developed, including Otto's More Joy in Your Marriage (1969), The Minnesota Couples Communication Program (Miller et al., 1975), and Relationship Enhancement (Guerney, 1977).

The core philosophy of marriage enrichment is a "positive growth-oriented, and dynamic view of marriage" (Hof & Miller, 1980). The major goals of marriage enrichment are to increase self- and other awareness to explore and express thoughts and feelings with honesty and empathy and to develop and use skills important in relationships, such as communication, problem solving, and conflict resolution (Hof & Miller, 1980).

While common sense suggests that these kinds of programs prevent marital discord and increase longevity of marriage there does not seem to be enough mainstream research to provide conclusive evidence. More and more research is being conducted about the value of prevention and the role of family life skills education in prevention of family dysfunction. Family experts see these programs as important, especially for adult children of troubled, dysfunctional, or divorced families.

The Handbook of Family Life Education describes three approaches to education for marriage and includes a brief discussion of education for remarriage in consideration of those that have divorced and are widowed.

The three approaches include general marriage preparation programs, premarital counseling programs and enrichment programs. The typical goals of education for marriage are to increase couple and family stability and satisfaction, and to improve the quality of couple and family relationships.

Marriage preparation according to Islamic tradition

According to Islamic tradition, marriage should be entered into for the sake of Allah. Marriage is, therefore, Ibadah(worship).

Allah's guidance should be sought on all matters, particularly the decision to marry and who to marry. Likewise, when we experience problems we must call on Allah to help us through the trying times.

Allah says in Sura Ghafir, "And your Lord said: Invoke Me (believe in Me alone and ask Me anything) I will respond to your (invocation). Verily, those who scorn My worship (i.e., they do not believe in My Oneness or ask Me), they will surely enter hell in humiliation"(Quran 40:60).

Intrinsic Islamic traditions that facilitate marriage preparation and education and consequently positive marital outcomes include prayer, Dhikr, the requirement of a Wali (guardian) for women who have not been married, the obligation to study the religious practices, the use of arbitration and importance of Nasiha or advice giving.

Marriage preparation, according to Islamic tradition, includes the study of the religious practices and traditions so that the believer has knowledge of Islam in its various facets including marital life.

According to Habib Ahmad(1996) the methodology used by the Sahaba in their acquisition of knowledge included the prioritization of educational objectives.

Al'Ilm al-Shar'i , that is, the knowledge pertaining to Islamic faith, acts of worship, and necessary transactions and daily dealings of a Muslim, must be our first priority in our educational pursuit.

Study of Allah, the articles of faith, prayer and other matters of Fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) are primary. Then other obligatory acts of worship and guidelines for business transactions, family life, community affairs, Dawa (inviting to Islam) with Muslims and non-Muslims and Arabic language should be next.

The Key to the Garden (Al Haddad, 1990) outlines the areas of Islam that Muslims must be taught first. This outline lists conditions of marriage among the first things a Muslim should know after the five pillars and behaviors that lead to major sin.

In an interview in 1997 Sheik Shamudeen, a well known religious leader formerly in the metropolitan Phoenix area, indicated that, as part of his study in Madinah (in Saudi Arabia), he and other young male students attended a class called Haqa Souja (the rights of the wife).

This class covered general as well as intimate issues in marriage. The inclusion of such a class as part of the training of future Imams suggests the importance of marital issues in Islamic study. Training of Dawa workers and community leaders must also include discussion of family and marital issues.

Istikhara

The prayer of Istikhara (decision making), a tradition of Prophet Muhammad, should also be undertaken in the selection of a mate, asking Allah's guidance in the choice of the mate best to assist one in preserving his or her Iman (faith) in order to prepare for the Ahkirah (Life after death). If Istikhara is performed sincerely asking Allah's guidance in the choice of a mate the marriage will be established at the outset on the best foundation.

The Holy Quran and Sunnah of the Prophet are rich with wisdom and the best examples of appropriate Islamic behavior in family life. It is important that those seeking marriage study the examples put forth by Allah and His Messenger in choosing a mate as well as resolving marital problems.

The Wali

The requirement of a Wali or Wakkil (guardian or agent) for women who have not been married and the tradition of family involvement in arranging the marriage are also important aspects of preparation for marriage so that those with good sense and wisdom about the potential spouse's personality, strengths and weaknesses will assist them in making the best selection of a mate and will adequately inspect the references of the future mate.

The habit that has been developing of choosing a mate without the involvement of family or community elders and without a Wali seems to be contributing to many of the marital problems in our community.

Marriage as a contract

Although marriage is an institution Divinely-ordained by Allah, each marriage is a contract between the spouses. Marriage is a social contract, a noble contract and a sacred contract (Khurshid Ahmad, 1974).

The physical document usually developed as part of the marriage process serves as a tool in preparing the couple for marriage. This provides an opportunity to give consideration to issues or concerns that may need discussion and agreement prior to marriage. As marriage in Islam is largely a contract between the couple before Allah this phase provides an opportunity to discuss the terms of the contract and to remind the parties of the obligation they have before Allah to maintain their contract and its terms.

Arbitration

Arbitration is another method at our disposal. If used as an intervention strategy it provides an opportunity to give the couple guidance as well as facilitate problem-solving and a reconciliation between them.

The Holy Quran says: "And if you fear a breach between them twain (i.e. husband and wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is ever knower, Aware" (4:35).

Allah says, "Call to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good admonition, and have disputations with them in the best manner; surely your Lord best knows who goes astray from His path, and He knows best those who follow the right way" (Quran 16:125).

The Islamic responsibility to offer Nasiha, that is, giving advice for commanding the right and forbidding the wrong, indicates the importance of providing good Islamic guidance to those who are straying from the teaching.

In this tradition of Nasiha is opportunity for individuals before marriage and couples after marriage to obtain good advice from family, community elders, Imams or Muslim counselors and social workers regarding ways to prevent and intervene early in potential marital problems.

It is clear that inherent in the teachings and traditions of Islam are many opportunities to prevent and address marital problems.

Summary

Just as prevention has taken some time to become valued and recognized as an essential part of the service continuum, so too will marriage preparation education as prevention strategy take its time.

Most couples spend more time preparing for the wedding than they do preparing for the marriage. Premarital programs focus on preparation for the marriage and for a long and harmonious family life in service to Allah.

The naiveté and innocence of most young couples make it difficult for them to even imagine that they may experience challenges in their marriage. The reality is that marriage comes with some difficulties and some trials, so it is important that the young couple, their families and the community recognize the importance of comprehensive marriage preparation.

Allah knows when the time will be right and marriage preparation will catch on. As for now it seems to be a little bit ahead of its time and perhaps part of the wave of the future. Time will tell.

However, the primary goal of developing and implementing a marriage preparation program that results in stronger Muslim families who will, in turn, strengthen and renew the foundation of Islamic society through the 21st century should be of paramount concern.

Preparing Muslims for Marriage

Diseases of the Hearts & Their Cures

2010-05-28T10:47:00.000-07:00

By Shaykhul-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah.

"Actions are distinguished, one from the other, with respect to their excellence in the Sight of Allaah(God) in accordance with the condition of the heart, not by their number or form, but rather due to the strength of the caller, his truthfulness, his sincerity and the extent to which he prefer Allaah over himself… Al-Haafidh ibn Hajr al-Asqalaanee, may Allaah have mercy upon him and provide us with his knowledge, said: “The heart has been singled out for this because it is the leader of the body, and through the purification of the leader the subjects become purified, and with his corruption they become corrupted. So if you, Observant of Allaah, wish to cure your hear then it is upon you to be truthful with regards to seeking refuge with Allaah and putting your trust in Him, to pray a great deal of supererogatory prayers, to perform the actions of obedience to Allaah frequently, to pray the night prayer while the people are sleeping, and to treat your heart by making it continuously stick to the remembrances and by befriending only the righteous… and to frequently recite the Qur’aan. And Allaah will indeed allow all of this to be preserved by him.”

Diseases of the Hearts & Their Cures

The ideal Muslim

2010-05-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

"The ideal Muslim is a man of the highest moral character. In his relation with his rabb' (lord), himself, family, parents, relatives, friends, and the community at large, he has a most excellent example in the Prophet of Islam (pbuh). His idealism is further strengthened by the characters of the first generations of Muslims who excelled in all the various fields of human endeavour. He is reassured by the teachings of Islam that he also can reach these noble heights by working to improve his character daily.
In this title, the author gives a clear overview of the practical aspects of the Islamic lifestyle, as exemplified by the Prophet (pbuh) and his Companions (pbuh). Moving from the innermost aspect of the individual's spiritual life to his dealings with all those around him, one can see how the Muslim is expected to interact with all others in his life."

The ideal Muslim

Weakness of Iman

2010-05-28T10:39:00.000-07:00

"The phenomenon of weak faith has become very widespread among Muslims, and many people complain about the hardness of their hearts. So often we hear the words, “I feel hardness in my heart,” “I do not find any joy in worship,” “I feel that my faith has hit rock bottom,” “Reading Qur’aan does not move me,” “I fall into sin so easily.” The effects of this affliction can be seen in many people, and this problem is the cause of every disaster and adversity."

Weakness of Iman

In the Early Hours: Reflections on Spiritual and Self Development

2010-01-01T13:49:00.000-08:00

In the Early Hours

HAPPY NEW YEAR SISTERS :))))))))))‏

2010-01-01T13:43:00.000-08:00

عام سعيد yeni yiliniz kutlu olsun felice anno nuovo feliz año nuevo

Advice On Dealing With Anger

2009-10-26T15:01:00.000-07:00

Advice On Dealing With Anger

Anger is one of the evil whispers of Shaytaan, which leads to so many evils and tragedies, of which only Allaah knows their full extent. For this reason Islam has a great deal to say about this bad characteristic, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) described cures for this “disease” and ways to limit its effects, among which are the following:

(1) Seeking refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan:
Sulayman ibn Sard said: “I was sitting with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and two men were slandering one another. One of them was red in the face, and the veins on his neck were standing out. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘I know a word which, if he were to say it, what he feels would go away. If he said “I seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan,” what he feels (i.e., his anger) would go away.’” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 6/337)
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a man gets angry and says, ‘I seek refuge with Allaah,’ his anger will go away.” (Saheeh al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer, no. 695)

(2) Keeping silent:
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, al-Musnad, 1/329; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 693, 4027).
This is because in most cases, the angry person loses self control and could utter words of kufr (from which we seek refuge with Allaah), or curses, or the word of divorce (talaaq) which would destroy his home, or words of slander which would bring him the enmity and hatred of others. So, in short, keeping silent is the solution which helps one to avoid all that.

(3) Not moving:
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so his anger will go away; if it does not go away, let him lie down.”
The narrator of this hadeeth is Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with him), and there is a story connected to his telling of it: he was taking his camels to drink at a trough that he owned, when some other people came along and said (to one another), “Who can compete with Abu Dharr (in bringing animals to drink) and make his hair stand on end?” A man said, “I can,” so he brought his animals and competed with Abu Dharr, with the result that the trough was broken. [i.e., Abu Dharr was expecting help in watering his camels, but instead the man misbehaved and caused the trough to be broken]. Abu Dharr was standing, so he sat down, then he laid down. Someone asked him, “O Abu Dharr, why did you sit down then lie down?” He said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: . . .” and quoted the hadeeth. (The hadeeth and this story may be found in Musnad Ahmad, 5/152; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 694).
According to another report, Abu Dharr was watering his animals at the trough, when another man made him angry, so he sat down . . . (Fayd al-Qadeer, al-Manaawi, 1/408)
Among the benefits of this advice given by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) is the fact that it prevents the angry person from going out of control, because he could strike out and injure someone, or even kill - as we will find out shortly - or he could destroy possessions and so on. Sitting down makes it less likely that he will become overexcited, and lying down makes it even less likely that he will do something crazy or harmful. Al-’Allaamah al-Khattaabi, may Allaah have mercy on him, said in his commentary on Abu Dawud: “One who is standing is in a position to strike and destroy, while the one who is sitting is less likely to do that, and the one who is lying down can do neither. It is possible that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told the angry person to sit down or lie down so that he would not do something that he would later regret. And Allaah knows best.” (Sunan Abi Dawud, with Ma’aalim al-Sunan, 5/141)

(4) Following the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):
Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, reported that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “Advise me.” He said, “Do not become angry.” The man repeated his request several times, and each time the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told him, “Do not become angry.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Bari, 10/456)
According to another report, the man said: “I thought about what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, and I realized that anger combines all kinds of evil.” (Musnad Ahmad, 5/373)

(5) Do not become angry and Paradise will be yours (a saheeh hadeeth, see Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7374. Ibn Hajr attributed it to al-Tabaraani, see al-Fath 4/465):
Remembering what Allaah has promised to the righteous (muttaqeen) who keep away from the causes of anger and struggle within themselves to control it, is one of the most effective ways of extinguishing the flames of anger. One of the ahaadeeth that describe the great reward for doing this is: “Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allaah will fill his heart with contentment on the Day of Resurrection.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani, 12/453, see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6518).
Another great reward is described in the Prophet’s words: “Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allaah will call him before all of mankind on the Day of Resurrection, and will let him choose of the Hoor al-’Iyn whoever he wants.” (Reported by Abu Dawud, 4777, and others. It is classified as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami, 6518).

(6) Knowing the high status and advantages offered to those who control themselves:
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The strong man is not the one who can overpower others (in wrestling); rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he gets angry.” (Reported by Ahmad, 2/236; the hadeeth is agreed upon). The greater the anger, the higher the status of the one who controls himself. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The strongest man is the one who, when he gets angry and his face reddens and his hackles rise, is able to defeat his anger.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 5/367, and classified as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3859)
Anas reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) passed by some people who were wrestling. He asked, “What is this?” They said: “So-and-so is the strongest, he can beat anybody.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Shall I not tell you who is even stronger then him? The man who, when he is mistreated by another, controls his anger, has defeated his own shaytaan and the shaytaan of the one who made him angry.” (Reported by al-Bazzaar, and Ibn Hajr said its isnaad is saheeh. Al-Fath, 10/519)

(7) Following the Prophet’s example in the case of anger:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) is our leader and has set the highest example in this matter, as is recorded in a number of ahaadeeth. One of the most famous was reported by Anas, may Allaah be pleased with him, who said: “I was walking with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and he was wearing a Najraani cloak with a rough collar. A Bedouin came and seized him roughly by the edge of his cloak, and I saw the marks left on his neck by the collar. Then the Bedouin ordered him to give him some of the wealth of Allaah that he had. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) turned to him and smiled, then ordered that he should be given something.” (Agreed upon. Fath al-Baari, 10/375)
Another way in which we can follow the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) is by making our anger for the sake of Allaah, when His rights are violated. This is the kind of anger which is praiseworthy. So the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) became angry when he was told about the imaam who was putting people off the prayer by making it too long; when he saw a curtain with pictures of animate creatures in ‘Aa’ishah’s house; when Usaamah spoke to him about the Makhzoomi woman who had been convicted of theft, and he said “Do you seek to intervene concerning one of the punishments prescribed by Allaah?”; when he was asked questions that he disliked, and so on. His anger was purely for the sake of Allaah.

(8) Knowing that resisting anger is one of the signs of righteousness (taqwaa):
The righteous (al-muttaqoon) are those praised by Allaah in the Qur’aan and by His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Paradise as wide as heaven and earth has been prepared for them. One of their characteristics is that they (interpretation of the meaning) “spend (in Allaah’s Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, [they] repress anger, and [they] pardon men; verily, Allaah loves al-muhsinoon (the good-doers).” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:134]
These are the ones whose good character and beautiful attributes and deeds Allaah has mentioned, and whom people admire and want to emulate. One of their characteristics is that (interpretation of the meaning) “. . . when they are angry, they forgive.” [al-Shooraa 42:47]

(9) Listening to reminders:
Anger is a part of human nature, and people vary in their anger. It may be difficult for a man not to get angry, but sincere people will remember Allaah when they are reminded, and they will not overstep the mark. Some examples follow:
Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that a man sought permission to speak to ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him), then he said: “O son of al-Khattaab, you are not giving us much and you are not judging fairly between us.” ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) was so angry that he was about to attack the man, but al-Hurr ibn Qays, who was one of those present, said: “O Ameer al-Mu’mineen, Allaah said to His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) (interpretation of the meaning): ‘Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish’ [al-A’raaf 7:199]. This man is one of the foolish.” By Allaah, ‘Umar could go no further after al-Hurr had recited this aayah to him, and he a man who was careful to adhere to the Book of Allaah. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 4/304).
This is how the Muslim should be. The evil munaafiq (hypocrite) was not like this when he was told the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and one of the Companions said to him, “Seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan.” He said to the one who reminded him, “Do you think I am crazy? Go away!” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 1/465). We seek refuge with Allaah from failure.

(10) Knowing the bad effects of anger:
The negative effects of anger are many; in short they cause damage to one’s own self and to others. The angry person may utter words of slander and obscenity, he may attack others (physically) in an uncontrolled manner, even to the point of killing. The following story contains a valuable lesson:
‘Ilqimah ibn Waa’il reported that his father (may Allaah be pleased with him) told him: “I was sitting with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when a man came to him leading another man by a rope. He said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, this man killed my brother.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked him, ‘Did you kill him?’ He said, ‘Yes, I killed him.’ He asked, ‘How did you kill him?’ He said, ‘He and I were hitting a tree to make the leaves fall, for animal feed, and he slandered me, so I struck him on the side of the head with an axe, and killed him.’ . . .” (Reported by Muslim, 1307, edited by al-Baaqi).
Anger could lead to less than killing, such as wounding and breaking bones. If the one who caused the anger runs away, the angry person turns his anger in on himself, so he may tear his clothes, or strike his cheeks, or have a fit, or fall unconscious, or he may break dishes and plates, or break furniture.
In the worst cases, anger results in social disasters and the breaking of family ties, i.e., divorce. Ask many of those who divorced their wives, and they will tell you: it was in a moment of anger. This divorce results in misery for the children, regret and frustration, a hard and difficult life, all as a result of anger. If they had remembered Allaah, come to their senses, restrained their anger and sought refuge with Allaah, none of this would have happened. Going against the sharee’ah only results in loss.
The damage to health that results from anger can only be described by doctors, such as thrombosis, high blood pressure, tachycardia (abnormally rapid heartbeat) and hyperventilation (rapid, shallow breathing), which can lead to fatal heart attacks, diabetes, etc. We ask Allaah for good health.

(11) The angry person should think about himself during moments of anger:
If the angry person could see himself in the mirror when he is angry, he would hate himself and the way he looks. If he could see the way he changes, and the way his body and limbs shake, how his eyes glare and how out of control and crazy his behaviour is, he would despise himself and be revolted by his own appearance. It is well-known that inner ugliness is even worse than outer ugliness; how happy the Shaytaan must be when a person is in this state! We seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan and from failure.

(12) Du’aa’:
Du’aa’ is always the weapon of the believer, whereby he asks Allaah to protect him from evil, trouble and bad behaviour and seeks refuge with Him from falling into the pit of kufr or wrongdoing because of anger. One of the three things that can help save him is: being fair at times of contentment and of anger (Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3039). One of the du’aa’s of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was:
“O Allaah, by Your knowledge of the Unseen and Your power over Your creation, keep me alive for as long as You know life is good for me, and cause me to die when You know death is good for me. O Allaah, I ask You to make me fear You in secret and in public, and I ask You to make me speak the truth in times of contentment and of anger. I ask You not to let me be extravagant in poverty or in prosperity. I ask You for continuous blessings, and for contentment that does not end. I ask You to let me accept Your decree, and for a good life after death. I ask You for the joy of seeing Your face and for the longing to meet You, without going through diseases and misguiding fitnah (trials). O Allaah, adorn us with the adornment of faith and make us among those who are guided. Praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds.”

Tricks of shaitan

2009-10-14T10:37:00.000-07:00

The united muslimahs

2009-10-14T10:34:00.000-07:00

http://theunitedmuslimahs.smfforfree3.com/index.php